Casualties of the Post War Era
by NukeMyWaffle
Summary: It's hard to enjoy a victory when it feels like a defeat. It doesn't matter what anyone says. It only gets worse with time because only you remember when everyone else forgets... M for Later Content
1. Bare Bones

Okay, I was reading these fanfics by SilverKytten on LiveJournal and one of them--and it's sequel--were dark, true and well, yaoi but they inspiried me to write this. It's dark, a bit depressing and actually comes from what I felt like when I lost a close family member.

As a warning, there is some OOCness but a tragedy happened so things and people change so bear with it.

So, on with the show and if you want to kill me, take a number.

And before I forget, there will be some familiar faces in this chap, so to prove that you've read it, name them for me in the reviews.

* * *

Ghost in the Shell: SAC-SSS/Full Metal Alchemist/Fushigi Yuugi

Mai-Hime/Code Geass/Sailor Moon/Shaman King

Naruto/Bleach/Karas/InuYasha

**"Casualties of the Post War Era**

-

**Chapter 1:**

**"Bare Bones"**

-

"You ungrateful little bitch!"

The force in which Hotaru's back hit the wall was enough to shake the entire length, even knocking a few pictures off their hooks. Hotaru looked up at her foster mother, her left eye burning and her lower lip split and bleeding.

This woman wasn't all that imposing at about 170 plus pounds and 5-foot-8 but she had a mean right hook and liquior lent her more than enough strength to subdue a 16-year-old young woman. She had dyed red hair that had been bleached before that and made her long hair look fried in those waves she had. Her dark orange eyes were color enhanced by some prosthetics designer and blood shot from the alcohol. While the woman was normally cranky, she was violent drunk and Hotaru let herself be the target instead of someone else who wasn't used to being beaten from training, sparring and combat, like the kids in the next apartment.

Hotaru used the wall to push herself back up onto her feet. "Sorry, Kirimei. I didn't know you were talking to me at the time. I should have known better. I'm sorry."

"I didn't have to take you in, y'know!" Kirimei half slurred as she staggered back to catch her breath. "I coulda left you there to rot but I didn't! I took you in and this is how you thank me, by keepin' this place a mess!"

The apartment was a mess but not from Hotaru's lack of activity. Kirimei would attack her if she tried to clean up while the woman was at home and she'd attack Hotaru if the girl didn't stay out of her way. Hotaru cleaned while Kirimei was at work at whatever bar she worked at and stayed out of the woman's way the rest of the time.

She was almost 17, just 2 more months but it was a morbid mark in time. So many things had intertwined and now so many were gone. There was no point in celebrating when there was so few to celebrate with. It would just be another painful reminder of how many had been sacrificed for victory…even if it felt more like defeat.

Kirimei's hand gripped Hotaru's hair close to her scalp and threw her to the ground. Hotaru pushed her off the floor, only to get kicked repeatedly in the stomach. She felt her ribs crack and blood bubble up into her mouth when Kirimei's foot slammed into her jaw. No doubt some of her teeth were loose now.

Hotaru would have to sneak out to get her jaw and ribs looked at by a professional. However, she knew that for her to be in pain, there was damage and possibly internal bleeding which chakra would quickly stem, of course. She knew someone she could go to, someone who had survived. She could trust them to keep her injuries a secret.

The _last_ thing she needed was for the _police_ or _child welfare_ poking their noses into this mess.

"I need a drink." Kirimei muttered, backing away. "Get that skank ass of yours in your room and don' come out until I tell ya to."

"Yes, Kirimei." Hotaru muttered, trying not to have blood drip on the floor as the woman went back to her spot on the couch. Soft ticks on the hardwood got Hotaru to look up at the approaching big mass of dark red and white fur with glowing amber eyes. The cold black nose and pink tongue sniffed and licked her arm and cheek.

Hotaru scratched the demonic looking hound behind the ears and used his large form to get to her feet. She staggered slightly, wincing faintly at the pain in her chest. The dog nipped the cuff of her sweatshirt sleeve and gently led her back to her room. This hellish looking hound may have looked frightening but he was actually a big sweetie to the general populace.

"I'm fine, En." Hotaru reassured the dog in a low voice as he led her down the hall to her open door. "She maybe drunk but she's no Sensei. Nor is she Tsunade. She can't do too much to me."

Her small sanctuary, her room was pretty bare. She had a small book shelf of books with her cell phone and iPod charging on top. Her backpack was on top of the foot locker under her window. Only some clothes were in her closet with a large dog bed on the floor with food and water bowls beside it. There were modified document tubes under her bed and there was only a big panda with a dark blue scarf on her bed and a weird rabbit looking purse with a panda, a bird, a turtle and a lion carefully tucked into the zipper. A small jar of 5 green candies with a letter on each one sat on her window sill.

Hotaru kept things simple, most of her things in storage but those she couldn't do without were what she had with her. She didn't set it all out, like she would have if she where at any place she'd call home. She didn't want to have to pack it all up again later and this way, she could easily stash it all to hide it from Kimirei if the woman ever got passed the deadbolt and catch chain. And of course, it made it easier for her furry roommate to guard it all.

Hotaru groaned as she laid on her bed, trying to ease the weight pulling on her ribs. En whined softly and nudged her hand. He knew she wasn't dying but he knew she was a lot of pain. She smiled softly, closing her eyes and gently played with the end of his muzzle with her fingers.

"I think she might have cracked a couple ribs this time, Enmaru, m'love." Hotaru told the dog as he was careful not to jostle the bed. "I think…I think I'll have to go see Knox tonight…just to make sure."

Enmaru whined softly and nipped the side of her sleeve, tugging her arm off her bed. "No, En. Not yet. We've got to wait until she turns on the TV."

Enmaru released her sleeve and whined softly again. He went to her closet and stepped passed his basket to nip up a pair of shoes from a small collection. He came back to the bed and set them on the comforter before going to the closet door and pulling the coat off the corner. He also brought it to the bed, setting it next to the shoes.

Kirimei would turn on the television shortly but Hotaru couldn't leave until she did. It provided perfect cover when she was hurt. She'd just have to meditate until then, since it wouldn't be long now.

No…not much longer…

"_You really hate fighting, don't you? You're good at it and it seems…commission? Wait, you were made? Seriously? Wow, I didn't know…no, I couldn't tell. I figured it was just really good training…oh, I see. You're sick of war…yeah, me, too…I guess it makes everyone sick eventually…what? No, I didn't want it to turn out like this…yeah, I wanted to make it better…yeah, I miss her, too…"_

Hotaru opened her eyes as Enmaru pulled one of her legs off the bed. She could hear the TV and Kirimei's drunken comments and laughter. Sitting up with a soft groan, Hotaru realized that she had fallen asleep. Her left eye and her jaw were throbbing and her ribs and stomach muscles ached. She got to her feet and pulled on her coat, running a hand through her short hair.

That was right, Kirimei had taken a box cutter to her hair just a few days ago. Her hair had been to her waist but now it was barely longer that her jaw, except for the hair around her face. Those locks had been strangely spared and reached her collar bones and her bangs feathered her forehead. She had forgotten Kirimei's drunken rampage the other night…her _back_, however, was another story. The pain killers she had taken must've worn off when she fell asleep.

Her back was irritated and it would only get worse, since she had a long sleeve dark gray shirt on under her dark blue sweatshirt and black coat. Her faded blue jeans and white socks complimented the darker tops nicely, though she hadn't been dressing for looks. The lengthy clothes were good for this weather but they helped hide her "rewards" so she didn't get the police stopping her.

Hotaru unplugged her cell phone and iPod, tucking both into her coat's deeper pockets and snapped the flap of the pockets closed. She locked her deadbolt and slid the chain into the catch. She shrugged on her backpack and felt her back scream at her. She sucked on her split lower lip to distract herself from the pain as she picked up the little glass bottle containing the green candies. She looked at them, her eyes distant.

"Sorry, guys. You're still benched until further notice." She said to the candies, tossing the bottle onto her bed gingerly. She grabbed her shoes as Enmaru nipped something up from his bed. He came over to her as she opened her window. "What do you have there?" She held out her hand and he put a dark case into her palm. "Oh, my glasses. I forgot about them. Thanks, En."

Hotaru put on her glasses and managed to put the case into her backpack without pissing off her back or ribs too badly. Enmaru slipped half way onto the sill as Hotaru put on her shoes and joined him in a crouch. Her window didn't have anything outside it, unlike the living room which had a balcony. However, it meant that it was going to be a bit of drop down to the ground.

She would land on her feet and Enmaru had enough demon blood in his pedigree that it would take more than dropping 3 stories to hurt him. The landing would jar her body, even if she landed without any real momentum. It would be the change of pressure and the stop in general.

She wasn't really looking forward to it.

"Well, let's go." Hotaru sighed. She and Enmaru jumped from her window and dropped towards the ground. As predicted, Enmaru landed as easy as a cat on his paws and Hotaru landed in a crouch but still managed to jostle her ribs and resettle her backpack. It made her grit her teeth, pressing her forehead to her raised knee and keep both hands on the ground for balance.

Enamru whined softly and licked her cheek worriedly. He knew that she was in even more pain than before. He was worried about her, much like the others would have been. He was all she had left and she would kill to keep him with her.

"I'm fine, En. Just catching my breath." Hotaru reassured, burying her hand into his thick fur. Enmaru draped something over her arm, getting her attention. The smart dog had grabbed his leash before they had jumped. It made her smile softly as she hooked it to his collar and stood, the loop sliding around her wrist. "Come on, En. Let's go pay Ol' Knox a visit."

* * *

A tad short. Next chap's MUCH longer, promise and we'll get to see a few familiar faces.

And there are some possible spoilers in here but since my mind's twisted, all of it could be my muderous imagination. So, don't be surprised it there's something you don't know about, just tell yourself that it's my imagination until you catch up, 'kay?

Please, Read and Review. Part 2 of this will be next chappie, promise.


	2. Old Man Knox, pt 1

Yay! Chapter 2!

Sorry i haven't updated for a while. I've been battling depression...and housework. I swear, the dust bunnies are worse than gremlins. You don't need water for the dust bunnies to multiply--you just leave 2 in the same area for, oh, 5 seconds.

**Harpygirl91:** Down, Harpy-chan. She's not going to get away with this, I promise. She has a specific purpose...though it maybe a couple chapters until it happens.

Anyway, this is the second half, part 1 of the prior chapter.

The char from here, Knox, is from the FMA manga. Read the manga. He'll remind you of someone in your life, trust me.

* * *

Ghost in the Shell: SAC-SSS/Full Metal Alchemist/Fushigi Yuugi

Mai-Hime/Code Geass/Sailor Moon/Shaman King

Naruto/Bleach/Karas/InuYasha

**"Casualties of the Post War Era"**

**-**

**Chapter 2:**

**"Old Man Knox, pt 1"**

**-**

Doctor Knox was actually a coroner, a medical examiner instead of the medical doctor he had been in the Eastern Rebellion. He lived in Niihama, in a small place next to one of the Cyberbrain Districts's entrances. He was a bit of a gruff prick but he was gentle when he dealt with a patient and he had never turned Hotaru away. He hadn't been on the front lines when that fetid war happened but he had gotten enough corpses with familiar faces that he was just as sick of war as she was.

Hotaru and Enmaru approached his house and made it up the front steps to the front door. She knocked on the door and hoped it wouldn't be a long wait. Her back and ribs were _pissed_ now, after taking a short train ride to get here.

Knox came to the door and opened it, a cigarette hanging from his mouth and his glasses half way down his nose. He gripped the edge of her chin and tilted her head to the left and right, then let out a heavy sigh with a lot of grey smoke.

"I see that bitch let you have it again." He took the cigarette from his lips to exhale more of the smoke. "Come on in, Kid. I'll get you all fixed up again."

"Thanks, Knox." Hotaru replied, Enmaru going in first. She stepped through the door and unhooked the leash but froze as Knox touched her jaggedly cut her hair.

"Looks like she took a box cutter to your hair. It kinda suits ya, Kid, but it's a damn shame." Knox said, his cigarette in his lips again. He pulled his hand back. "It looked real elegant like when it was long, especially when you would put it up. You'd look like a world class lady." He stepped passed her and took the lead. "Get your ass in the kitchen. I'll go get my bag from upstairs."

"She kicked me, too." Hotaru informed him. "Felt a few ribs crack."

"All right." Knox sighed. "I'll take a look. An' strip the jeans while you're at it. I want to see how those exposures are doing."

"You're the boss." Hotaru responded as Enmaru led the way to the kitchen. She flicked on the light and slid her backpack from her shoulders, pulling out a chair to sit in. She dropped her bag under the table and took off her coat, tossing it and the leash on top of the bag. She kicked off her shoes and pulled off her socks, tucking them into her shoes and setting her glasses on the table top as Knox came in and set his bag on the table.

Hotaru took off her sweatshirt and draped it over the back before popping and unzipping her fly. She reached under her shirt and unhooked her bra to make it easier to take off her shirt. She was taking off her jeans when someone at the door knocked, getting Knox to go answer it.

"Yeah, what?" Knox greeted a bit gruffly.

"We're with the Prefectural Police. We would like to ask you some questions." A woman's voice said as Hotaru tossed her jeans underneath the table. "May we come inside so we're not overheard?"

"An' if I don't, you'll barge in under the 'assumption of suspicious activity'." Knox retorted, moving back to let them in. He turned to head back to the kitchen as Enmaru laid on the floor by Hotaru's chair. Hotaru had her back to the kitchen archway as she took off her shirt and bra, trying not to irritate her back even more.

"…Holy Shit in Xerxes…" Knox breathed, seeing Hotaru's back.

"I've had worse." Hotaru remarked calmly, tossing her shirt with the rest of her stuff. She was in her faded scarlet boy short panties, her arms keeping her bust covered. She straddled the back of her chair, her sweatshirt keeping her front covered as she leaned on it with her arms folded on top and her chin resting on top of her arms.

"So, who the hell are you and what the hell do you want?" Knox asked, drawing up a chair behind her so he could get down to business. He opened his bag and pulled on a pair of rubber gloves.

"I'm Motoko Kusanagi and this is Saito and Batou. As I said, we're from the Prefectural Police." The woman said, getting Hotaru to close her eyes and smirk. Enmaru shifted enough to make his presence known and laid his head down on his paws but at an angle to keep them in sight.

"We don't like lies around here, Lady." Knox said, getting out the iodine and a cotton swab from his bag.

"What makes you think I'm lying?" Kusanagi inquired, not acting surprised.

"Ask the one who caught it, not me." Knox replied, dipping the swab into the iodine.

"And that would be me." Hotaru said, not opening her eyes. Knox began to clean each cut on her back, starting at the top and making sure the iodine got into her cuts. "As innept as the Prefectural Police can be, they wouldn't send 3 people when only 1 or 2 would do and since the old man here lives alone, it would be one. You're fully prosthetic with a mass produced model with aftermarket modification and you're not wearing a uniform or a suit. Neither is the cyborg or the partial, for that matter. You were special operations, then UN Corp. The cyborg was a Ranger and the partial's a sniper, most likely a righty with a hawkeye. And you're all armed with your gun at the small of your back, in the cyborg's new shoulder rig and at the sniper's left hip."

"Oh, how do you know all that?" Kusanagi asked. "You never looked at us. How can you be sure?"

"Easy." Hotaru answered. "From the way you move and the way the house responds to you, via the vibrations in the floor. You're all relatively quiet but I heard you and I know your weight and thus height and body type because each of you has a distinctive walk."

"That's impressive." Kusanagi replied, her voice saying she was smirking. "You're quite unusual."

"That's what everyone kept telling me." Hotaru's remark earned a soft whine from Enmaru. "Sorry about that, En."

* * *

Enmaru's a mean sucker to some and a gentle beastie to others. He makes his debut in a story i need to post "SILVER SCREEN REALITY" and he's freaky looking. Hell, he scares the shit out of Akamaru--uh, SHIPPUDEN Akamaru.

Anyhho, plz read and review.

I'll get part 2 up asap.


	3. Old Man Knox, pt 2

Here's part 2 of the prior chap.

**Harpygirl91:** Oh, you have no frakkin' idea. En kicks ass.

So, now the PoV of the "Visitors".

* * *

Ghost in the Shell: SAC-SSS/Full Metal Alchemist/Fushigi Yuugi

Mai-Hime/Code Geass/Sailor Moon/Shaman King

Naruto/Bleach/Karas/InuYasha

**"Casualties of the Post War Era"**

**-**

**Chapter 3:**

**"Old Man Knox, pt 2"**

**-**

"You're right, we're not from the Prefectural Police." The Major hadn't found someone like this girl in a _long_ time. She liked this girl, though she was wondering what kind of action she could have seen because some of those scars she had could have only come from the front lines of some battle.

She appeared to be almost 17 years old and 5-foot-4, at the most, with porcelain skin over a conditioned muscular structure. She had an hourglass figure with a D cup bust and jaggedly cut short hair. Her back bore several cuts that looked like they had been made by a box cutter and there were similar cuts on her arms, torso, and legs. Her left eye was bruised and there was a cut on the far edge of the socket. Her lower lip was split and Kusanagi was betting the right side of her jaw was bruised.

The prosthetic woman could see the edge of dark purple bruising on her abs and the careful way the girl was breathing and sitting. Her left leg had a dark pink splotch on her calf that couldn't be what it was registering as. There was a claw like symbol above her left ankle and a weird tatoo of what looked like a wound up winged snake on her lower back. She had faint scars everywhere on her flesh and healing bruises in various states and cuts that were older than those apparently inflicted with a rabid box cutter.

She had a barbell in her belly button and six piercings in her left ear, each hole bearing a stud. She didn't wear any rings but there were faint tan lines to suggest that she had been a short time ago. Her nails were longer than most girls' her age and they looked like manicured claws with their purple polish and the black starburst set with a light purple rhinestone, her toes matching her nails. She had toe rings on two toes on her right foot and 3 on her left. She wore a blue crystal necklace around her neck and oddly enough, what looked like a cat collar.

She wasn't the only visitor at Doctor Joseph Knox's home. She was accompanied by one _hellish_ looking hound. He was a dark red that bled to black on top, the white fur of the rest of his body giving him the demonic looking markings. He had claws on his paws, a fanned tail on his tail and horns on the sides of his face from behing his red ears with a full mask that started at his nose and traveled to the rest of the red of his coat. His bright amber eyes seemed to glow and he was _clearly_ a well muscled wolf dog but he was also young. There was still some puppy to him, though the black collar was reinforced so that meant he could pull even Batou along.

Kusanagi wondered what a girl like her was doing here at Knox's house when she could go to a clinic to get herself tended to. It was unusual for someone to come to an old man for medical attention but the way the coroner was tending to her said they knew each other. Was she hiding something?

"So, Kusanagi, what's your rank?" The girl asked, not opening her eyes. She showed no emotion of pain, though her breathing would hitch if she took a deep breath.

Yep, cracked ribs.

"What do you mean?" The Major asked.

"Don't play dumb. It pissed her off." Knox cautioned, not looking away from her back as he set aside his current cotton swab to get another, like he had done 4 times already.

"Major." Kusanagi answered.

"Heh. The Kid outranks you." Knox scoffed.

"I didn't ask for the bastards to promote me. I told them to leave me the hell alone where I was at but noooo." She muttered unhappily. "I was _fine_ with being a lieutenant colonel."

"You're a lieutenant colonel?" Batou said skeptically.

"Brigadier General now." Knox corrected, pushing up his glasses. "I'm tellin' ya, Kid. You need to wear that stuff again. It's the only thing that'll keep you in one piece."

"No." She said firmly.

"Still reeks of blood, huh?" Knox earned a low growl from the dog.

"_Down_, Enmaru." The girl said, using a colder, slightly deeper tone that got the dog to look at her then back down. Her voice changed back a second later. "He's the only one who knows what he's doing. We let him live."

"Much abliged." Knox responded as Enmaru huffed as if disappointed. "So, Major Kusanagi, what are your questions?"

The Major was surprised he had remembered but he had been a member of the Amestris State Military so it was to be expected. "Where were you 5 days ago at 11:58 at night?"

"Here, cutting the bandages of the Kid's fingers of her right hand." Knox answered. He stopped and looked at the woman. "This has something to do with that death in the Cyberbrain District, doesn't it?"

"Thought bomb." The girl said.

"How do you know that?" Batou half demanded. "You send it?"

The girl snorted. "Puh-leeze. Like I'd degrade my own reputation by sending out thought bombs. Listen to what everyone thinks is static when you're on the Net. You'll find out all sorts of things. Like a hit on a few guys who got a look at something they shouldn't have."

"And who was the owner of the hit?" Kusanagi asked.

"Anti-Chinese whackjobs." She responded. "Turns out that there's a hit on the Foreign Affairs Vice Minister because of the Pro-Orient Trade Union bill he put on the table on the Minister's request while in another meeting."

"And you learned this from the static?" Kusanagi double-checked.

"Caught a snippet of it, looked deeper and pieced it together." She answered calmly. "I would have reported it but I'm a teenager and can't be trusted. I'd have another botched assassination on my hands and recovering from the last one had been a pain in the ass."

"You've escaped an assassination?" Saito asked surprised.

"What do you think the collar hides, a hickie?" She asked, opening one eye with an amused expression. And she had a set of dazzling amethyst eyes. "It hides the wire scar of the attempt. It attracts attention if I don't hide it, especially now with my hair so short."

"Wire scar? But that would…" Saito trailed off.

"Yup, I'm a ninja."

A ninja? Kusanagi didn't know there were any left. After they were called to Xing during the Britannian-Urth War, everyone believed they had been wiped out by Charles the Crazed and his eldest son Odysseus before the 2nd son Schneizel and his sister Cornelia could take the throne. That been barely 5 months ago and there had been so many casualties but so few survivors. It wouldn't be hard to track down this girl's identity.

"…And I thought I'd never see into Hell after what happened back then…." She mumbled softly, her eyes distant and staring at something that wasn't there. Knox paused, his eyes closed and his head bowed. Both felt pain from the loss of those who had fought to defend Urth.

"That would make that a Sakuradite exposure burn, wouldn't it?" Kusanagi asked, looking at the girl's leg.

"Yeah. I'm one of a select few who didn't die from radiation exposure after Charles detonated the irradiated liquid Sakuradite bombs he had at his disposal." She responded softly, still half stuck in the past. "Those who were exposed got sick and died within 2 months of the coup's success. The others…the other survivors died of complications with their wounds. There's around 20 of us left now."

"If that's all, I'd like to tend to the Kid in peace." Knox said, cleaning her back again. He had to be careful so he didn't put anymore pressure on her ribs.

"What I don't get is if you survived the war, then why to you let your old man do this to you?" Batou asked, almost demanding.

"I don't have any parents. My mother died when I was 4, my father followed when I was 9. My first legal guardian died when I was 12 and the others died in the War." She told him in an even softer voice. "…along with those I cared for…those I would have given my unending life for…"

Saito shot Batou a look that told him his question had been over the line. The Major understood why the girl let this person hurt her. Survivor's Guilt made veterans believe the weirdest things, like they deserved to be punished for letting their friends and other people die in their place. And this poor girl and her dog were no different.

"All of our questions were related to your whereabouts but since you have a solid alibi, we'll be going." Kusanagi replied, knowing it was a good time to leave.

Saito and Batou went ahead, leaving the house first. Kusanagi turned to follow but the girl's soft voice made her stop.

"…it doesn't matter what they say…it only gets worse with time…because only you remember…when everyone else forgets…"

How true that was. The Major knew that all too well.

"Charles, Odysseus and their conspirators have been charged with crimes against humanity and international counts of systematic genocide within the colonies." The Major told her, hoping it would make her feel better. "The trial's going to be in a week, once all the evidence is gathered."

"…I know…" She said in a whisper. "…I have to be there…"

The Major wanted to know this girl's identity now more than ever but she wasn't going to push her luck anymore tonight. Survivor's Guilt mixed with Post-Traumatic Distress Syndrome wouldn't help them anymore than it was helping her. They would go and let her get through this to operate closer to her best than tonight.

And once the Major knew who she was, there was a job with Section 9 in her future.

* * *

Section 9 got caught by a kunoichi!

**Hotaru:** Well, uh...

Wait, just wait.


	4. Broken Fighting Spirit, pt 1

This is the NEXT day.

Literally.

**Harpygirl91**: You've got to wait like everybody else. And the next chappies gonna be interesting...

* * *

Ghost in the Shell: SAC-SSS/Full Metal Alchemist/Fushigi Yuugi

Mai-Hime/Code Geass/Sailor Moon/Shaman King

Naruto/Bleach/Karas/InuYasha

**"Casualties of the Post War Era"**

**-**

**Chapter 4:**

**"Broken Fighting Spirit, pt 1"**

**-**

Hotaru crouched and pushed the floating candle into the memorial pool, letting it float out to all the other candles already on the near mirror like surface. Hotaru sat back on the concrete and watched the bobbing flames and their colored shells, at least 15 of them decorated with ultra fine scroll work that was actually writing. All of those were from Hotaru and each name was someone that damn War had stolen from her when she should have been taken in their place.

It started with the Akatsuki attacking the Leaf Village and Aizen declaring war on the Soul Society, both Konoha and the Seireitei calling for her to take up arms as one of them. Then it had been Britannia attacking Xing and Xing calling for its Allies, the shinobi and shinigami having to split their forces. Amestris was soon dragged into the war and Hotaru had gotten her summons as a State Alchemist as well as being the Blue Rose of Britannia, equal to the Knights of the Round but she took her orders from her Imperial Sponsor, Prince Schneizel el Britannia, and not the Emperor so she reported in as the Phantom Alchemist.

And then Odysseus sent a message into the stars that the Senshi were vulnerable and hired the X-Laws to get rid of Hao and Yoh Asakura and anyone else who would stand in their way. The enemies came and Hotaru was called to fight as Sailor Saturn and as a shaman but it hadn't stopped there. With the back up of Charles zi Britannia, the Sears Foundation attacked the HiME, meaning Hotaru had to fight against _them_ as well. Then it was the _Karas_ were called into action and Hotaru was forced to fight on yet _another_ plain.

She had been forced to fight in too many battles and was needed in too many places, all of this Hell going on all at the same time. If she had only been stronger, there wouldn't have so many dead and they'd all be happy, living together like they should be. She had been so pathetically weak that she had allowed her mother's clan to have a few survivors and her father's to only have her left. The ninjas were decimated and the Seireitei had revoked banishments in order to rebuild. The Karas were having to take over larger territories and Urth had been so ravaged that there were refugees in Britannia as well as Japan.

Hotaru was one of the few remaining shaman in the world and possibly the last Hime. She was the last Senshi, Mamoru in cryo-sleep at the Gaean Palace and Usa never being born. She was one of possibly 3 State Alchemists and when it came to Xing, it had been so badly damaged that the Celestial Warriors had to have their souls, their powers sealed to blank sutras and made into soldiers for the Demon Sage—Hotaru—to command when she had need of them. None of Xing's 4 provinces or the Forbidden City had survived, total massacre.

Sakura, Ichigo, Natsuki, Hao, Edward, Winry, Anna, Orihime, Haruka, Michiru, Rei—everyone she had ever held dear was _gone_ and all because she was a weak, pathetic excuse of husk. She had let all of her friends, her family, her loves—all of them die because she couldn't pull of enough of a show to scare Charlie-Boy and his Oddy-chan to make them back off.

It was all her fault…

"I'm sorry." Hotaru whispered, her eyes shining with tears of blood. "It should have been me."

She stood up and took a deep breath, her chest expanding as much as the day old wrap job to secure her ribs would allow. She had to make them understand, even if they had passed on.

"It's all my fault! I'm sorry!" Hotaru called out as tears fell down her cheeks. "It should have been _me_ that died! This whole mess is _my_ fault! I should have been the one to take on Charles and Odysseus! I should have been the one to face off with Aizen and the Akatsuki! I should have been Marco's target! It should have been _ME_!"

She collapsed and just let the tears flow in rivers down her cheeks. "…It was all my fault that you all died…." She pounded her hands against the concrete. "It's all my fucking fault!"

"…Mistress…" A soft voice behind her broke through the one-sided hysterics. Hotaru looked at the Chinese Spirit floating above the water in front of her.

"It's all my fault, Bason." She told the ghost tearfully. "If I had been stronger, you'd still be with Ren an' Amidamaru would have Yoh, Ryu and Tokageru would be here and Horo would have his annoying, pain in the ass little sister! It's all my fault! I wasn't strong enough and everyone I ever cared for paid for it with their lives!"

"Hotaru-dono, don't think that way." Another ghost consoled, appearing next to Bason. "You can't blame yourself. You had too many places to be and you can't split yourself into pieces to be everywhere at once."

"I should have just got to Charles and Odysseus and showed them just who they were messing with, like I did with Yamamoto and Goldva and Jeanne and-and--" Hotaru couldn't finish her sentence, having difficulty breathing past her tears. She dug out a packet of tissues from her backpack and blew her nose then wiped at her tears, setting her glasses aside. "How can the others _not_ blame me?! I mean, look at what happened to them because I made a promise to them and I couldn't keep it! I _failed_ them when they _needed_ me and they _died_ because of _my_ weakness!"

She blew her nose again. "And it was _my_ suggestion to Schneizel that got Nunnally, Rolo, Gino, Anya, Kaguya, Sayoko—all of them killed trying to take the throne from Charles and Odysseus! I'm the reason why Miss Cecile, Nina, Milly, Shirley and Rivalz are _dead_! It's all my goddamn fault and you guys _know_ it—so don't tell me otherwise, Amidamaru!"

"I see why Master Ren wanted me to stay behind." Bason said softly, getting Hotaru's attention. "He said someone had better stay behind to keep an eye on you and since you wouldn't listen to him or Lady Jun, he thought I would be the better candidate."

"And if Yoh-dono really blamed you, do you honestly think he'd tell me that I had to stay to protect you, the only one of the living who really needed protecting?" Amidamaru half demanded of her, surprising Hotaru. "Ren and Yoh-dono were your _friends_, Hotaru-dono. They cared for you and wanted to make sure you wouldn't be alone when they were gone."

Hotaru sniffed and wiped at her tears. "…It's still my fault…Hao _died_ protecting me…as if I wouldn't get right back up to go kick some ass…"

"To Hao, you were worth dying for, even if you are a phoenix." Amidamaru told her gently. "He loved you, Hotaru-dono. You had given him acceptance in one life, a family in another and clarity in this one. To him, you were worth the price of his life if it meant sparing you the loss of one of yours."

"…it's still all my fault…" Hotaru said, pulling her legs to her chest.

"Come, Hotaru-dono." Amidamaru coaxed gently. "Let's go home. You need rest so you can heal. The faster you can heal, the stronger you will be."

Hotaru put on her glasses and got to her feet, feeling her movement pull on her ribs and back. She picked up her backpack and shrugged it on, the 2 ghost turning into hitodama from their full forms to follow her. Enmaru had been laying on the ground, knowing how she felt and dwelling with his own guilt. He got to his paws as she took his leash from her pocket and hooked it to his collar.

"Come on, En. Let's get back. I think I'm overdue for a long nap." Hotaru told the ninja hell hound. "Maybe I can pop some aspirin and just sleep it off."

Kirimei had stayed home that day so Hotaru spent the day out of the apartment. She looked for a job, since Knox teased her by saying he was going to start charging her for her care. She wanted to pay him back, since he did take care of her. And she needed something to do In order to start getting her life together. She didn't like having nothing to do.

Hotaru and Enmaru had started out going to the early morning markets that were around town and in the afternoon, they went to the park. They played with the kids until her pain got too much. Then they had gone to the Memorial Pool and bought a couple candles, engraving the names that she hadn't put down the previous times she had been here with a senbon. And then…

Hotaru's hands ached from pounding them on the concrete. She knew how to wrap them up, having done it before. They wouldn't be too problematic. It was an easy "fix," as it were. All she had to do was wrap her hands and pop some pain killers and maybe take a sleep aid. She could trust in Enmaru and his honed instincts take care of her if she took that sleep aid.

Enmaru stayed at Hotaru's side and yet took the lead, keeping an eye out for undesireables while Hotaru was lost in her thoughts. The swirling rivers of memories and emotions spun together, like a whirlpool at sea. They bubbled, rolled and meddled together like the storm clouds of a gathering maelstrom. And they devoured her like starving piranna.

Someone on a memorial program once said that those who had survived had only done so because they were meant to do God's work. Hotaru was glad she was an Arithian with her own gods. She didn't need that kind of bullshit to add to her guilt. Wearing her Sovereign Bar was enough "Holy Protection From Abvoe" for her. She wasn't going to depend on religion to keep her afloat. It was that kind of crap that had caused so many to die, because one man believed he was chosen by God.

It was like something out of that "Death Note" manga and anime—total crap.

Hotaru and Enmaru walked the familiar streets back to Kirimei's apartment. It would never be "home" but it was a place to gather her strength and sleep, despite the near daily beatings by the drunken bitch.

Hotaru remembered when she had first seen Kirimei. The woman had been nice and motherly, a sober front for the Welfare folks. When Kirimei had first lashed out at Hotaru, the girl had defended herself, putting up blocks and dodging but it only had Kirimei attack her when she was sleeping or cooking. She had even been nearly drowned. Hotaru's tongue and throat burned with the apologies that were nothing but lies and each one seared in her gut.

One day, Hotaru was just so tired from crying that Kirimei managed to land a blow while she was awake…and to Hotaru's surprise, she felt her guilt ebb a little. And when she uttered those lies, they didn't burn as much. So, Hotaru stopped fighting back and let Kirimei beat her, in order to atone for the ones she had failed to protect. Having the drunken woman pound on her was her punishment for not being strong enough.

It made her wonder what level of Hell she would be alotted once she really died in the end.

"Hey, there, hot stuff." A guy oiledly purred, getting Hotaru to glance at a few guys just a bit older than her. They had been drinking but they weren't drunk. They had cigarettes and apparently believed every young woman walking that night was there for their pleasure. "Why not hang out with us tonight? We'll make it worth your while."

"Not interested." Hotaru said firmly, closing her eyes and looking away.

"Aw, why not?" Another asked.

"Because you blatant fools have nothing I want." She answered, knowing that she wasn't being careful with her words. She knew she ought to apologize, say she was having a bad night but it dawned on her that she didn't want to _apologize_.

She wanted to _fight_.

"You rude little bitch." The first man scoffed, not exactly amused. "I think I should teach you a lesson about being rude to your elders."

The man came forward as Hotaru released Enmaru's leash and let her backpack slide off her shoulders. Enmaru nipped up the carry strap and moved out of her way. The man swung at her head but she fluidly dodged and slammed her calf into his gut, sending him flying back into the brick wall behind his friends. They looked dumbfounded for a moment, looking at her then at their friend who was now unconscious and then at each other.

They were suddenly pissed and dropped their beers and cigarettes to stalk towards the 16-year-old Senshi of Destrustion. Hotaru didn't panic or even prepare herself. She was going to take her time with these guys and fight with human strength, grace and skill. She wouldn't fight as a ninja, a Senshi, a soul reaper, an alchemist or anything else. She would fight as a human and let off some steam.

Hotaru kicked the first of the group back and grabbed another by his shirt before slamming her fist into his jaw, sending him back. One of the guys tried to go for her face but she ducked and collided one of her feet into the underside of his jaw, doing perfect splits in the air and his body arching until it landed on a pile of trash bags. She then slammed her foot into another man's chest and then the top of her foot into the side of yet another.

She let her elbows, fists, knees, legs and feet connect with the male bodies as they got a first serving of her strength and foolishly came back for round 2. Hotaru fought back, not really doing serious damage to them, just wanting to vent. These men had no idea she was going so easy on them but they had yet to land a blow. Part of her wondered if they had even noticed. Another part couldn't care less and wished there were more for her to pound.

This violent side of her won out and she kept fighting them until they were no longer standing. They were all knocked out and groaning, pissing her off.

"Come on! You assholes were supposed to teach me a lesson!" Hotaru snapped, feeling her anger coursing through her veins. "Come on! Get up! Fight me! Teach me that lesson! Prove to me that you're the stronger ones! Come on! Fight me!"

Hotaru felt the angry tears brimming on her lips and her hands curl into fists. "Come on! I'm just _one_ girl! There's _ten_ of you! You can still fight so fight me!"

A heavy sigh got Hotaru to turn to look at who had come up behind her. It was the blond cyborg from the night before, the one that had been with Kusanagi at Knox's house. He looked at her like she was just some reckless kid, a plastic bag in one hand and the other in the pocket of his coat.

"Jeez, Kid. You need to go easy on the drunk bastards." He said with a sigh. "They can't think straight."

"They weren't sober but they weren't drunk." Hotaru corrected sharply, darkly. "Unlike you, I know the difference."

"Still, you shouldn't pick fights when you're wounded. You'll only increase the damage."

Hotaru felt her anger increase. "What the hell do you know? You're an ignorant cyborg _ranger_! You've never had to train, to work while your body is broken, bleeding and tired! _I_ have! I know how to fight without doing more damage to myself while I can make my opponent bleed and cry in agony! When your body gets damaged, you just get a new one! I was _born_ with this body! I don't _have_ prosthetics to make me last longer on a battle field—only my will to survive and my training!"

"Come on, Kid. Just relax. There's no need to get worked up." He sighed, placating her. Hotaru _hated_ to be placated. It was one thing she wouldn't stand for, even now.

_Especially_ now.

"Go to Hell, you bastard!" Hotaru spat at him.

The cyborg sighed heavily as he set his bag aside and opened his coat to give himself room to move. "All right, Kid, since you're itchin' for a fight…" He faced her and furrowed his brow, preparing to fight her. "Then you can fight me. If I put you down, you stay down because I'd hate to do more damage to you. I saw what you looked like last night and ninja or not, you can't be fully healed."

"Shut up!" Hotaru shot back, not even concerned with holding back. She launched forward, moving faster than he had expected of her and leapt up to ram her fist into his head.

The cyborg shifted back a step and raised his arm in a block. Hotaru's fist hit his forearm and she lashed out with a kick to his head. He caught her calf in his large hand and swung her away, the denim slick under his hand. Hotaru slipped from his grip and she hit a wall, searing pain through her back and forcing blood to leave her lips.

"Oh, shit." The cyborg muttered. "You okay, Kid?"

"Do you always try to comfort your opponent in a fight or am I just this lucky?" Hotaru coughed, using the wall to get to her feet. She staggered under the pain but she pushed it aside the best she could to continue fighting. This was how she got to her teammates' level and surpassed her ancestors' strength.

"Stop, Kid. I don't want to end up killing you." The cyborg told her.

Hotaru laughed drily, spitting blood off to the side. "If I could be killed, someone would have already killed me!"

She charged again and this time disappeared from in front of the cyborg. She reappeared above him and smirked, letting her lip split again and expose the tips of her sharp fangs. She flipped over in the air and lashed out with a kick, catching him at the side of his head. The force she used cracked her femur but it sent him tumbling until he used a roll and managed to get to his feet.

Hotaru landed in a crouch and rose, though favoring her left leg. "Would you stop going easy on me?! It doesn't serve any other purpose than pissing me off!"

"You don't seem to get it, Kid. I ain't in the habit of beating up the lost." The cyborg said, drawing himself to his full height and pinning her with a solid, eye-tubular gaze. "And I sure as hell do get any pleasure from it."

"I'm not some little kid who can't take care of herself! And I'm _not_ lost! I've been on my own before and for _millennia_!" Hotaru spat at him angrily, fighting back the tears. "I'm stronger than I appear! I've spilled so much blood for the Balance, for the good of Existance that Heaven's not even an option for me! _Death_ isn't even an option and I have died for more than my share for the _Earth_!"

"So I take it not a lot of people would die for _you_, then." The cyborg's words hit her like a dagger to what was left of her heart. It must have showed because he didn't let up. "That's what's bothering you—not the fact that they died but that they died for _you_. You couldn't stop them from dying because they cared for you, believed that _your_ life was more important then their own. You can't stop beating yourself up over it because your life obviously holds so little value to you. Did it ever occur to you that you were of value to someone else?"

The clack of a gun behind Hotaru surprised her and the cyborg suddenly froze, not looking pleased. Someone walked passed Hotaru and put themselves between her and the cyborg.

"That's _enough_ out of you." The gun's owner said firmly. His hood was drawn over his head and his long coat was buttoned up the front, helping to obsure his body type. His voice sounded muffled to Hotaru so he had to be wearing something over his mouth. "It's considered impolite to degrade someone who went to _war_ so you didn't have to. As a man who was once a soldier, I would have expected more from you. You can't show one of the literal _few_ survivors of over one million lives lost in that hellish battle that lasted for nearly a year by acting like a complete know-it-all asshole. You have _no_ idea what goes on behind the lids of those who _risk_ their sanity to sleep."

"You plan on shooting me?" The cyborg asked, not backing down. He was challenging the gunman to fire on him. "What you got in there, normal copper jackets?"

"Anti-cyborg rounds with crystalized Sakuradite explosive heads." The gunman warned, surprising the cyborg so badly that his face went pale and slack. "This is one of the guns specially designed to store and fire these rounds. This is one of the guns that was used in that war. Take your things and leave or there will be one less cyborg for Japan to worry about."

"Fine, just keep that safety on." The cyborg said as he picked up his plastic bag.

"I don't _have_ the safety on." The gunman informed him darkly.

He kept his gun trained the cyborg's back as the cyborg left to take another route. Hotaru growled softly as the gunman dropped his arm. She gave him a one handed shove from behind, making him stumble forwad a few steps.

"You asshole! You son of a bitch! You bastard!" She shouted at him, the tears on the edge of her lids. "I didn't need your help! I was doing fine on my own! I could have handled him on my own!"

"Your condition would definitely say differently." The gunman said, his voice no longer muffled. He turned to face her, dropping his hood. "Since you're bleeding pretty bad, Firefly."

Hotaru looked at the barely familiar face of someone she had once called "comrade" in the war. His brown hair was a little longer and his face a bit more worn but only one of his emerald green eyes was visible, the other behind a black-looking eye patch that resembled the Flame Alchemist's. He was still young, though the way his body held itself said he was old. He still had his gun at his side and he was dressed in a dark brown coat with black boots, gloves and scarf around his neck, the scarf having covered his mouth earlier.

"Su…Suzaku…?" Hotaru breathed in surprise, getting that gentle smile she remembered. "But…but I saw the Lancelot go down over Dublith! _Your_ frame went down in _flames_ and _exploded_! There's no way you could have survived…unless…"

"That's right." Suzaku nodded solomnly, his smile now somber. "Lelouch's Geass order for me to live back on Kamine Island is still working, even after his passing. It activates whenever I'm attacked or on the verge of death. It's the only thing that's kept my name from the Memorial Wall in the Britannian Imperial Palace."

Hotaru's shock gave way to anger and she slapped him as hard as she could, blood smearing on his cheek. "You bastard! You made me believe you dead all this time! Where the _fuck_ have you been, living it up in the Homeland?! The White Death still too good to stay in the Land of his Ancestors?!"

Suzaku turned his head to look at her again. "I've only been in Britannia when I have to be. I live here, in Japan. In fact, I live just a few blocks from here. Come with me and I'll tend to your injuries."

"No thanks." Hotaru refused as Suzaku holstered his gun on his thigh, the coat hiding it perfectly. "I'll go to Knox, like I always do."

"Yeah, and how do you plan on getting there looking like you had a go with an armored suit?" Suzaku asked, arching his one visible eyebrow. Hotaru didn't look down at herself but she did look away, furiously not meeting his eyes. "I don't care that you're mad at me but you know as well as I that Nunnally would be rolling in her grave if I didn't help you."

Hotaru slapped him harder than she had earlier. "Don't you _dare_ say her name ever again! You have no idea what it _cost_ me to lose her!"

Suzaku tested his jaw to make sure it wasn't dislocated then wiped her blood from his cheek. He turned his lone emerald eye on her in a cool but firm stare. "Are you going to _willingly_ let me help you in her name or do I have to sic your own ninja hell hound on you in order to get you to comply?"

Hotaru didn't want anyone's help. She still wanted to fight, release all the pent up emotions she had to keep locked away. Suzaku wouldn't fight with her. He never did. The one she could trust in rising to the occasion had been Lelouch and they usually argued just to unstress every week or so and that had been _before_ the war. During the war, they had been fighting nearly over every little detail.

It had driven Cornelia and Kallen _crazy_ with how foolish some of their arguments were but like Nunnally and Suzaku, Schneizel, Rolo, Gino and Anya had taken them instride and usually ignored them, letting the 2 near dopplegangers just bitch it out until they were out of energy and too tired to continue.

Hotaru sighed, looking at Enmaru. Enmaru had set her backpack down on the ground and jerked his head towards Suzaku. She knew the dog was right but it din't make swallowing her grief, anger and pride any easier.

"Fine, I'll let you help me." Hotaru said. Suzaku took a step forward, only to be stopped by a prodding finger to the chest. "But say her name again and I swear on my Star's Pantheon that I will make you _pay_ for it. Do I make myself clear?"

"As clear as crystal." Suzaku reassured gently. He turned and croached a little, offering her a piggyback ride. Hotaru sighed and got on his back. Suzaku shifted her weight a little and managed to even shoulder her backpack and pick up Enmaru's leash without staggering or putting her down.

Apparently the Knight of Seven was a lot stronger than he had been roughly 5 months ago.

"Don't worry, Firefly. I've gotten pretty good with patching reckless people like you up." Suzaku reassured as he started to walk home. Hotaru sighed softly and hung onto his shoulders.

"Just be careful where you put your _hands_, Kururugi. I'm not in the mood to be molested tonight." Hotaru muttered to him.

"Sorry, I leave that to the ghost of the former Knight of Three, may Gino and his Tristan be enjoying Heaven's wild blue forever." The Knight of the Round replied, used to the teasing that had developed over the rough and bloody months.

"…Thanks…" She mumbled, getting Suzaku to smile at her over his shoulder.

"Anytime, Firefly."

* * *

...Wow, uh, Suzaku...?

**Suzaku:** What?

Whatever happened to "respecting your elders"?

**Suzaku:** ...uh, let me get back to you on that...


	5. Broken Fighting Spirit, pt 2

Sorry about Chap 5 being mega late. I had to finish it in the right tone.

Yeah, this is gonna show you a little more into the past and why Hotaru's kinda frakked up now.

Reviews:

**Dark Queen Helba:** You'll get snippets of it in each chapter. The history's kinda complicated, I guess. Maybe I should put it in a journal on Devieant Art....

**Harpygirl91:** (Bows) Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!

* * *

Ghost in the Shell: SAC-SSS/Full Metal Alchemist/Fushigi Yuugi

Mai-Hime/Code Geass/Sailor Moon/Shaman King

Naruto/Bleach/Karas/InuYasha

**"Casualties of the Post War Era"**

**-**

**Chapter 5:**

**"Broken Fighting Spirit, pt 2"**

**-**

Suzaku's apartment was small, perfect for one person. It had a kichenette, a small bathroom and only had one room. He had a television on a coffee table against the wall and a kotatsu in front of it. There were a couple bookshelves full of books and a few pictures on the walls but they weren't of people, only places like fields of flowers, the coastline and the ocean. The curtains hid the sliding glass doors to the balcony and there was a pocket door half open to the bedroom.

Like the rest of the apartment, Suzaku had kept things simple with his small bedroom. He only had a twin bed, which meant he slept a bit curled up at night. His closet was closed but Hotaru had gotten a glympse of a futon and clothes when Suzaku had opened it to get his personal medical kit. Hotaru had only seen clothes that would keep him from getting noticed in this near-slums buidling but there were clothes in garment bags pushed towards the back.

Hotaru sat on the edge of Suzaku's bed as he returned to his bedroom after letting Enmaru out onto the balcony to enjoy the fresher air. She wasn't too fond of the position she was in but she did bring this on herself, getting into fights when she should have just walked away. She took off her glasses and massaged the bridge of her nose.

Kirimei was probably totally _shnockered_ by now. It would be a death wish to go back now. Hotaru would go home after a couple hours, letting the woman passout before even considering returning.

"You don't look like you're thinking good thoughts." Suzaku commented, getting Hotaru to look up at him without her glasses. He wore a black high collared shirt that had no sleeves and was skin tight, tucked into dark olive green pants belted into place. His eye patch wasn't black, like Hotaru had originally thought, but a dark, _dark_ brown. "You know what they say—think good thoughts and you can fly."

"Don't forget the pinch of pixie dust there, Peter Pan." Hotaru half drawled, earning a half smile. "Because this isn't Never, Never Land and there's never going to be a second star to the right and straight on 'till morning. Not this time."

"Easy there, Tinker Bell. You'll lose your glow." Suzaku teased.

"Trust me, I lost that a long time ago." She said softly, looking at her glasses with distant eyes.

Suzaku lightly kicked his bed to get her attention. "Come on, take off your clothes. I've got to see what you did to yourself."

Hotaru set her glasses aside and shrugged off her coat. She pulled off her sweatshirt and long sleeve shirt, raising her arms pulling at her possibly broken ribs. Her bindings had to be loose because she could take a deeper breath and anger her rib cage. It also meant Suzaku would know that she wasn't wearing a bra, since the bindings had required her chest to be bound a little to secure the gauz pad on her back.

It didn't bother her to be without a bra, since she had gone without one in eras prior, but she wasn't sure how Suzaku would react. And really, she didn't care but it was one of those things a girl thought about.

She lurched to her feet and popped then unzipped her jeans, pushing them down her legs. She sat down and pulled them off, her socks going being taken off with her pants. She added her jeans to her pile of clothes and didn't really care that she was in her panties, looking like she was part mummy, bruised and bloodied.

_**THWACK**_

Hotaru saw stars for a minute then glared at Suzaku, rubbing the back of her head. "And what the hell was _that_ for?"

"For letting someone kick your ass." Suzaku told her. "Look at you—the Phantom Alchemist, the Xingese terror at the command of the Fuhrer and you're letting someone turn you into their personal punching bag. That's just seriously _pathetic_."

"For all you know, I've been in fight rings to make my money." Hotaru retorted a bit dryly.

"I know what it looks like to get the crap beaten out of you on a daily basis. You don't look that bad, so it's every other day." Suzaku responded, crossing his arms over his chest and pinning her with a cyclops gaze. "Remember, I was an Honorary Britannian. I got pounded in boot camp. I got beaten up at Ashford, since I didn't fight back. And you didn't fight back, not like you did against those guys and that cyborg."

"It's none of your business."

Suzaku felt like hitting her again but she would be on guard this time. He sighed and picked up his bag of medical supplies from the floor. He drew a folding knife from his pocket and flicked the blade out of the handle. Hotaru shifted carefully as he sat on the edge of his bed behind her.

"So, this Knox." Suzaku said, cutting the bandages carefuly at her back. "Is this the same coroner that comfirmed COD on some of the others?"

"Yeah, same guy." Hotaru answered softly. She felt the bandages loosen and Suzaku swept them away, dropping them on the floor. He set his knife aside and gently peeled the gauze from her back, seeing the dark stains of what had bled through.

Suzaku didn't say anything as he tentatively touched the edge of a few cuts. "These are primative, ammateurish. Kitchen knife…no, a box cutter with a blade a few days to maybe near two weeks old. This isn't the work of a soldier. This was done by a civilian…God above, tell me you're not into this kind of thing, that you let guys cut you up to get off." Hotaru shot him a dark look over her shoulder, careful of how she breathed. "Then I take it that you're not going to tell me, are you?"

"As I said, it's none of your business." Hotaru muttered, facing the other direction again.

"Knox stitch these up for you?" Suzaku inquired, opening the bag and taking out the iodine and a cotton swab.

"Yeah, he did." Hotaru answered as Suzaku dipped the swab head in the iodine. "Why?"

"Because he did good work. They stayed strong, not even poppign in that fight with the cyborg." He told her, touching the cold, wet swab on to a stitched cut. "They're a little angry so I'm touching them up with iodine to keep them clean before I rewrap you."

"I have more on my front, mainly around my stomach but they're scattered all over."

Suzaku sighed heavily, exhaling through his nose. "You're going to get yourself slagged one of these days. You've gotten careless, reckless."

"Does it matter? There's no one that would mess me in this world." She murmured morosely. "They're all on the other side…waiting for a time that will never come…"

"It'll come one day." Suzaku reassured, only stroking each cut on her back twice to clean her stitches and guard against infection. "It comes for all of us one day and they'll keep waiting until you join them."

Hotaru didn't say anything, too lost in her thoughts to even register the sting of the iodine. She was in a place that replayed losing Nunnally. She remembered sicking her Spirit of Thunder on them, letting it eat those damned soldiers' souls as she held Nunnally in her arms, her power causing a massive storm system overhead. She had then picked up Nunnally's body and carried her, on foot, back to command base, back to Cornelia.

Hotaru's hand tightened on Suzaku's bedding, getting the male's attention. He felt like such a prick to mention Nunnally when he had seen what her death had done to her. He had seen her change in a way that he never thought was possible, especially after all the times she'd lecture Hao. She had shown no mercy, letting her Spirit and Hao's consume the souls of their enemies, releasing her demons and killing any enemy soldier that dared come across her path. Nunnally had been her last bit of anchorage to her humanity and losing her meant that she didn't have a reason to be humane anymore, that all she was, was a weapon made to kill and decimate her enemies.

Gino had hated seeing her like this. He always did something to snap her back to reality and it always worked. He had told Suzaku what to do as he was dying from the wounds incurred when the Tristan was shot down. Now, what was it that Gino used to do?

…Oh, yeah.

Suzaku brushed Hotaru's hair up, off the back of her neck and gentle kissed the nape of her neck. It worked, getting her to gasp softly. Gino had been a flirtacious so-and-so but he had never let down a friend and the Tristan went down, covering the Moordrid and an advanced team of Amestrian soldiers and shinobi that went in to capture a Britannian base camp. And of those members, Anya, Fletcher, Sakura, Shikamaru and Choji had died in the next battle, protecting the wounded.

"Stay in the present for right now." Suzaku gently instructed, finishing with her back. "It's hard to tend to your wounds if you're too tense."

"…sorry, Firebird…"

Suzaku hadn't heard that old nickname since his father banished the ninja and Senshi from Japan before Britannia conquered them, making Japan into Area 11 for a time. It made his heart ache since it was something that she alone had called him when they were children. She hadn't called him that in years.

A soft smile curved his lips as Suzaku opened a pack of gauze and gingerly pressed the unfolded pad over her wounded back. He slipped off his bed and moved to kneel in front of her. Hotaru wrapped her arms around her chest, hiding her bust from him. He knew that she didn't really care but it was a considerate gesture that he suspected wasn't a common occurance anymore.

"I'll be quick." Suzaku promised, tucking her jaggedly cut hair behind her ear.

Suzaku carefully peeled the gauze off her stomach and sections of taped gauze off her chest. The same cuts stitched closed greeted him and made him wonder who this monster was. Hotaru was a normally gentle person and even after each death of a friend, she was still gentle but distant. Who in their right mind would want hurt to someone like Hotaru?

He cleaned each stitched wound and put fresh gauze on her stomach and chest, gently pulling one of her arms from her chest. He unwound the bandages from her arm and looked at the stitched wounds under pieces of gauze as well as the compounded and bleeding flesh. Letting out a sigh, he put a bit of iodine on a piece of gauze and began to clean the new wound.

"If you let this person keep this up, you'll end up getting too hurt to heal." Suzaku warned as he saw what raw damage had been done. She had been so rough on herself. "And then you'll be in trouble."

"Just hurry up. I need to get going." Hotaru half heartedly ordered.

"And where will you go?" Suzaku asked curiously. "Back to the one responsible for the abuse?"

"It's none of your concern." Hotaru told him as he finished cleaming her arm. He carefully smoothed down a couple layers of gauze on top of it to keep it protected and clean.

"We'll see about that." He commented, wetting a cotton ball with iodine and uncurling her hand with her bleeding palm facing the ceiling. He gingerly cleaned her palm and noted few of her fingers looked mashed, being at least a few days old. It looked like someone had smashed their heel onto her hand. And all these injuries had Suzaku mental refuting her claim of it not being his concern.

Ha! And a childhood friend and fellow BU War Vet wasn't getting the shit beaten out of her every couple of days.

Suzaku didn't give a flying rat's ass if Hotaru thought it wasn't any of his concern or business or whatever. He wasn't going to let her keep doing this to herself, not when he owed her for stopping his own suicidal attempts back in the War. He had so much to pay her back for, so much he wanted to repay. She had shown him so much during that visit from Hell on Earth and if it hadn't been for her, Suzaku would have never come back to Japan and stay in Britannia.

The only reason Suzaku came back to Japan, to Niihama was because Schneizel received news that Hotaru was still alive and was planning on going back to Japan. A majority of the survivors were in Britannia, where they were receiving the best treatments for their "suveniors" but only a few returned to their homelands and Hotaru was one of the last to be the first back in Japan.

Suzaku had moved back a week after Alphonse died from exposure to irradiated Sakuradite.

"…you must hate me…" Hotaru mumbled, bringing Suzaku back to Earth. He was working on her legs now, almost done with her right. He had been working on her wounds on autopilot, much like fighting the War or going to his meetings as a Knight of the Round. "…you do hate me…don't you, Suzaku…?"

"Kind of hard to hate someone for the same reasons you keep yourself up at night." Suzaku replied, getting those red rimmed, blood-teary amethyst eyes to look at him. "Truth is that I don't really sleep anymore. When I do sleep, I have to take a pill so a drugged sleep means a peaceful one. Hell, I even tried to overdose on sleeping pills but my Geass order stopped me from going through with it. I remembered swallowing a handful of pills and then the next thing I knew I was on the floor of the bathroom, all the pills I had taken in the toilet and the taste of drugs and bile in my mouth. Pleasant, huh?"

"…you should hate me…I got everyone you loved killed…a whole country's gone because of me…because I wasn't…strong enough to stop Charles…"

"Remember what you told me when we lost Gillford, Ohgi and Viletta?" Suzaku asked, wrapping up her right leg. He kept his head down but he saw her shake her head. "You told me that war had a funny way of messing with us, that it makes us both relieved and sorry that we survived for another day. You told me we would end up doing stupid stuff to appease that mixed feeling. I took it to heart, especially when you reopened one of your wounds to wrestle that gun I was going to use to shoot myself out of my hands."

Hotaru smiled weakly, ever so faintly. "…you were always a stubborn son of a bitch…"

"Glad to hear it." He remarked, moving onto her left leg. He barely touched the side of it and heard Hotaru hiss softly in pain. "You broke it, didn't you?"

"…my femur, yeah…"

Suzaku dug around in the bag and managed to find a splint he had used himself in the past. "Well, it might be a little big but it should do its job like it's supposed to. I haven't worn it in a while so I don't think it's my size anymore. I've got to clean your leg first, so bear with it, okay?"

Hotaru nodded, not looking up. Suzaku tucked her hair behind her ear again before getting a piece of guaze wet with iodine. He tried to be as gentle as possible, since he knew first hand that a broken bone _really_ hurt, but he was having to be a bit firm in order to clean the raw wounds on her calf, the top of her foot and her knee.

"…where's En?" Hotaru asked softly, trying to hide a hiss of pain.

"Out on the balcony. There's not much room but I figured he'd like to be away from the smell of the iodine." Suzaku answered, remembering seeing Kari in the medic tents. He had been trying to fight the collapsed lung his chakra had cut off so he could breathe better. Enmaru had been by his side the entire time, just like Akamaru with Kiba. However, the difference was that Akamaru had to be put down when Kiba died and Kari told Enmaru that he had to protect Hotaru now.

When Kari had died, Enmaru just picked himself up from his spot beside his ninja's cot and half limped, half dragged himself over to Hotaru's, which was on the other side of the tent. He laid himself beside her cot and licked the fingers of her hand and arm that was hanging off the edge. She had dug her fingers into his fur and they silently mourned their last teammate's passing.

After that, Enmaru didn't like the smell of iodine—_especially_ in the amount Suzaku was using on Hotaru's wounds. The ninja hell hound had made a connection between a lot of iodine and death and it wasn't a good connection, since he'd attack anyone who believed was going to kill Hotaru.

"…he's stronger than you think…" Hotaru murmured, getting Suzaku to look up at her. "…Knox uses iodine on me all the time…it bothers his sense of smell…but he'll stick next to me…he won't do anything as long as he can hear my heart beating…"

"Then it's a good thing that I left the door open, isn't it?" Suzaku asked, putting gauze over her wounds and wrapping it into place. He carefully slipped the brace onto her leg and strapped it _firmly_ into place, getting Hotaru to grunt softly. "Sorry about that. Wait here. I'll get you something to wear."

Suzaku rose and tucked her hair behind her ear. He stepped passed her and opened his closet, moving some clothes around. He collected a couple things and came back to her.

"I'm afraid I don't have a kimono or even hakama here so my clothes will have to do." Suzaku replied as he unfolded a shirt and threaded his arms through the sleeves. Give me your hands and we'll make this quick." Hotaru gave him her hands and he transferred the shirt from his arms to hers and over her head. He gently pulled it down and knelt, unfolding a pair of pants. He slipped it onto her feet, leaving it at her ankles. He gingerly put his hands on her waist and pulled her to her feet. He left her standing, swaying occasionally, as he pulled the pair of pants up and buttoned the fly, even zipping it for her. "There, you're dressed and presentable. Put your arms around my neck and I'll take you out into the living room."

"…could I stay here…?" Hotaru asked as Suzaku began cleaning up.

"Come on, no playing recluse." Suzaku scooped her up, slightly surprising her. He carried her out to the living room. "Because if you want dinner, you sit out here with the guys." He pulled a cushion out from under the kotatsu and sat her on it, her legs under the table and its quilt. "Now, stay put or I'll have your puppy devicer-sit."

Enmaru padded into the apartment and laid down beside Hotaru. She put a hand on his head, burying an injured hand into his fur. She would have normally laid on him but she was too hurt to even try. Her ribs would protest horribly and she didn't want to puncture a lung…again.

"I hope you don't mind curry." Suzaku replied, taking out containers from the fridge and a couple cabinets. Hotaru didn't have to look up to know that everything was already prepared, just waiting for a few last steps. The War had made each one of the survivors a little anal when it came to being prepared and ready. Hell, even keeping things orderly and clean, leaving security traps, carrying weapons at the ready, going up and beyond one's own cyberbrain security, and never trusting strangers was all too real and constant.

Suzaku's apartment was spotless and so orderly that it would have made an Obsessive Compulsive proud. Hotaru's room was the same way. The hospital rooms of those who had been hospitalized were also like that. After the gory, hellish nightmare that was the Britannian-Urth War, all the blood and wreckage drove the need to keep things clean and orgnized home _hard_.

"_Do you think that we can stop this before it gets too bad? …You really think…yes, I suppose that _is_ how it works…no, I don't think you're being cynical…of course not! You really know how this kind of thing works far better than anyone here...that's no way to talk and I don't want to hear another word about that stupid, stupid lie…we're blood sisters, remember? I will _always_ stay by your side…"_

"Here you go." The soft clack of cheap dishes on the kotatsu's table top helped Suzaku's voice bring Hotaru back to reality. She sniffed softly, trying to suppress the tears she could feel coming as Suzaku put a couple bowls on the floor for Enmaru next to the kotatsu.

Hotaru nearly jumped when Suzaku tucked her hair behind her ear, his fingers grazing her cheek. She looked at him and got that fond smile only Suzaku could wear, even with the slight wear around the edges.

"It'll be okay." Suzaku promised softly, letting his fingers stay in her hair behind her ear. "Everything will be okay."

"…How can you say that when you know the monster I really am?" Hotaru asked in an even softer voice, closing her eyes and bowing her head.

"If you keep talking like that, I'm not going to let you leave." Suzaku warned with a slight scolding told as he pulled his hand back, his fingertips brushing her cheek again. "Now, eat up before it gets too cold."

Hotaru tried to pick up her fork and her fingers spamed, dropping it onto the table with a slight clatter. She looked at her hand with wide eyes. Her hand was shaking so bad and her fingers felt like they were being squeezed. Her skin felt like it was on fire but that heat wasn't from just _any_ flame…

"_Phantom!"_

_Mustang skidded to a stop as Hotaru gripped her bleeding side. He stood between her and the mini Knightmare gun frames, a portion of his right arm gone with only a tattered bloody sleeve dripping his life force proving that it was a fresh wound. The mini gun frame fired just as Mustang snapped his fingers. The gun frame exploded as the bullets ripped through his body, splattering and coating a majority of Hotaru's barely standing form in his blood. She collapsed, the blood of the elder man mingling with her own as the mini frame towered over her, the devicer smirking from his exposed cockpit with his finger on the trigger…_

Letting out a scream, Hotaru tried to get up and run from her memory but collapsed barely a foot from the kotatsu, landing half on her stomach and half on her side. The table had jumped when she had moved, knocking the cups over but Suzaku was already on his feet. He came to her side and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" Hotaru spat, half rolling over to smack his hand off her shoulder but Suzaku caught her wrist. She lashed out, going to hit him with her other hand, sitting up to get the proper power and leverage she needed but once again, he caught her wrist. She tried to pull her wrists free but Suzaku wasn't letting go.

He held onto her wrists with an iron yet gentle grip and refused to even let his arms move. Hotaru moved to ram her good foot into his gut with all the strength she could muster. Suzaku threw one of her wrists into his other hand with her other wrist and shifted to the side so her foot passed right by him, wrapping his hand around her thigh above her knee and pinning the limb to his side. He used her wrists to jerk her closer so her face was roughly an inch from his.

"That is _enough_, Hotaru." Suzaku said in a low, firm voice. "There is _no_ need for you act this way, _not_ when it's me." He leaned forward and put his forehead to hers. "Just _stop_ fighting. I won't hurt you. I'm _not_ the enemy. I'm your friend."

Hotaru's body just went completely limp, like the fight had completely left her. Suzaku slowly released her and she fell back onto the floor. He loosened his grip on her leg and she slipped it away from him as she rolled over, her back to him. He put one of his hands by her head and leaned over her, tucking her hair behind her ear again. Her eyes were squeezed shut to fight the tears and she was biting her lower lip, a fine trembling running though her body.

The tremors were back, the ones that had started after Guinevere was assassinated by one of the X-Laws, shooting through Hotaru to kill the 2nd Princess. Hotaru had tried to protect her but furyoku was one of the things that could warp her Silence Wall. Guinevere had joined the coup after Cassius and Carmine were hung by their wrists and torn apart for lending aid to Schniezel, wanting Odysseus' head on pike for their deaths.

Suzaku laid down behind her, half laying on her. He put one arm under her head so his bicep would be her pillow and put the other arm around her waist, pulling her against him. Renji Abarai had discovered that if Hotaru felt safe and secure with another's presence, the tremors would eventually go away. It was that vulnerable feeling that always setting them off.

"Everything's going to be okay." Suzaku whispered to her. "Everything will turn out to be all right. Just wait and see—everything's going to work out and it'll all be okay again."

* * *

So, uh, Suzaku--about that whole "respecting you elders" bit...

**Suzaku:** What about it?

Should we apply that to the Senshi of Silence?

**Suzaku:** ....and if we do?

You _know_ she'll get you back for that smack to the head.

**Suzaku:** ......

Let me guess, you'll get back to me on that.

-sigh- Well, the Knight of Seven's being uncooperative again.

So, read and review, pretty plz!


	6. Her Lullaby

Yes, yes--I know. I know--BAD Nuu-chan for not updating sooner! No cookie for Nuu-chan.

All right, it's not technically my fault--it's the damn writer's block and looking for a job in this economy but there is a second chapter after this one but I think I may just post it later, just b/c I'll have something for you guys before I go on vacation in 2 weeks.

Okay, for those who reviewed:

**DarkQueenHelba:** If you want to call that chap fluffy, then by all means. You are the reader and while it wasn't intended to be fluffy, it probably kinda turned that way but i have no way of actually knowing myself.

Thanks on that! I had to work hard and redo that last section, like, 100 times before I could get it the way I wanted it, especially the part with Mustang. Their interaction is kinda key, btw.

Love interest? Possibly but this is all still the beginning-ish phase so I can't be certain. There are hints of another possibility in the next chap, and yes, it does put Suzaku in a mood.

**Harpygirl91:** No, Suzaku won't get away with that thwack. It'll come back when he least suspects it, b/c he kinda is right now.

I'm glad you love the descriptions. Trying to get what I have in my head down on paper/in computer is challenging but I'm gettin' better!

Okay, so on with the show, yes?

* * *

Ghost in the Shell: SAC-SSS/Full Metal Alchemist/Fushigi Yuugi

Mai-Hime/Code Geass/Sailor Moon/Shaman King

Naruto/Bleach/Karas/InuYasha

**"Casualties of the Post War Era"**

**-**

**Chapter 6:**

**"Her Lullaby"**

**-**

_Parts of her body had gone numb but other places hurt like a sonafabitch. She pushed the panel off of her back and staggered to her feet. She looked out at the horror that had been their camp. Frames were in pieces, bodies were strewn everywhere and the fires sent dark smoke and the smell of burning flesh, earth and metal into the air._

_She looked up at the sky, hearing a ship overhead. It bore the Britannian colors and its bomb bays were closing. It took her a moment for her to realize that a crimson frame was attacking it on its own, missing an arm and both its legs beneath the knee caps. It flew like a limping butterfly with a sword that was red, that had come from another frame on their side._

_The ship's turrents tried to follow the crippled yet quick frame as it darted around, slicing many of the guns to shreds. A lucky shot took off its arm and the sword was sent spinning, digging into the ground literal feet behind her. The frame pulled back and went for the rear engines. She felt her heart jump into the throat as she recognized the kamikaze attack._

"_KAAALLLLEEN!"_

Hotaru sat up with a sharp gasp, her ribs shooting pain through her body and cutting off her breath. She started coughing as a result, shaking her ribs. She wrapped her arms around her chest and tried to regain her steady breathing.

"Another nightmare?" Suzaku said, getting her attention. Hotaru looked over at where he had spoken from and saw him sitting against the wall with a book in one hand and a cup of tea in the other. She had cried herself to sleep and he had put her in his bed.

"Why did you let me sleep?" Hotaru asked, not happy.

"Because you needed it." He answered.

Hotaru gave him a scowl. "Who are _you_ to be the judge of _that_?"

Suzaku just gave her a cool, cyclops look. "The only Knight of the Round that knew you were the Blue Rose of Britannia."

"Only because you walked into my room when I took my mask off." Hotaru shot back, throwing his own pillow at him. He blocked with the arm holding his book as he took a sip of tea. "What, don't drink coffee?"

"A certain young woman once told me that drinking too much coffee was bad for me."

That kind of surprised Hotaru. He had actually listened to her when she had told him that over a year ago? Hell, he _remembered_ what she had said?

"You look surprised." He commented.

"That's because I am." Hotaru admitted. "How could you remember?"

"Because Gino neddled me about it every time I had a cup of coffee. Did you know he has started drinking herbal teas before he died?" Suzaku asked. Hotaru shook her head. "It's not something everyone in the Britannian courts knew but he started living a bit healthier. Bismark said he was trying to impress you but you weren't around all the time so it was weird how he just kept it up even while you were gone."

Hotaru felt the pit of her stomach drop a little. Bismark, the Knight of One, had been loyal to Charles until a few months into the Britannia-Urth War and when he changed sides, the rest of the Knights of the Round came with him. Charles had lost his mind and Bismark couldn't ignore what the Emperor was doing anymore. During the war, Bismark became something of a foster father to Hotaru and on his death bed, he had called her his daughter with his last breath. He had incurred fatal wounds while protecting Central from the heavy Britannian military assualt but had been victorious…

…Until Charles dropped one of Nina's FLEIA warheads on Central. All that was left of the capitol was a crater now that was coated, like most of Urth, in irradiated Sakuradite dust. The continent was sealed off by those remaining that had power so the dust and wind wouldn't effect the rest of the world more than it already had. It was a good thing that no one had been left behind on that cursed land mass because no one would be able to even breathe the air above the sea within the seal for nearly 200 years.

Nina's notes had given an exact number but Hotaru couldn't remember what it was.

"Suzaku…did you know that I keep a small journal filled with the names of those I allowed to get killed?" Hotaru asked softly, looking down at her hands. "…it's in Kurodo's plush body but I have it, all the same…"

"No, I didn't know that but it seems to me that you should think of it as a list of all those to live for, not live to mourn." Suzaku made it sound so silly, so simple. It was _never_ like that, both of them knew it but seeing his friend depressed ate at Suzaku.

"…I wonder if Mamoru can still feel the damage his star suffers in his sleep…." Hotaru mumbled to herself. Suzaku had only met the Crowned Prince of the Earth a few times but each time had left an impression that would never leave him. While Mamoru had been a gentle soul, a good natured kind of guy, he wasn't someone to underestimate at anytime. He had taken command of the soldiers that had been answering to the Knight of Nine and did a hefty amount of damage to the Britannian forces while losing only one or two of his own men.

Though, each time a FLEIA warhead came down, Mamoru was sent staggering, even dropping to a knee with blood spilling passed his lips and onto the ground. Hotaru had been close by and had sensed what was happening to Mamoru, sending some of her own knightmares to go defend him at his moment of weakness.

After returning from Antartica, Hotaru stopped talking for a while and when she did speak, after a few weeks of silence, she took Major General Olivia Armstrong's sword from its bloody sheath and rammed it into the heart up to the hilt with such force that she broke the breast bone of the Britannian Noble. He had been Charles' extension in Amestris and had killed not only the woman who's sword that had killed him but the entire Armstrong family, dropped the FLEIA bombs that put Mamoru into stasis sleep and "executed" Anya and the Knights of Two and Four.

Hotaru had sent him back to Charles and Odysseus in itty, bitty little pieces with a note that bore the same words she had told that son of a bitch:

_**You Spilled The Blood Of Those Sworn To Protect The Innocent.**_

_**Now, You Have Spilled The Blood Of This Star.**_

_**I Will Have Your Head, Your Heart And Your Soul For These Multiple Transgressions.**_

According to their spy within Charles' court, the Emperor paled at least 50 shades when he saw the signature—Xenaeth Zedanya Adaran of the Ether Realm of Arithia. The 98th Emperor of Britannia had brought the wrath of a _true_ god down upon his head and his loyal followers. The only reason why Hotaru hadn't smote him where he sat was because Schniezel _talked_ her out of it. He was _still_ the only thing between Hotaru and Charles, not that Charles knew that. Schniezel had told Hotaru to allow Charles to be brought to the Justice of Man before the Wrath of Heaven was unleashed upon his sorry head.

"You shouldn't have let me sleep, you bastard." Hotaru growled at Suzaku, fighting the tears that _begged_ to spill from her eyes. Suzaku didn't say anything, closing his one visible eye. Hotaru pushed the covers aside and managed to get to her feet. She limped to the door, not caring that she was only in the shirt Suzaku had lent her.

"It was Kallen against the _Marissa Anne_, wasn't it?" Suzaku asked, making Hotaru freeze at the door, her hand on the frame. He sighed softly. "They never told me you where in Dublith when that bombardment was launched. All they told me was that Kallen brought it down with one of my swords, the one that had survived my frame going down. We found the Gurren's remanents but my sword was dug into the earth with its remaining arm. She kamikazed, didn't she?"

"Why the _fuck_ does it matter to you?" Hotaru asked in a harsh, low voice. "Kallen's dead and I can't bring her back because her crystals, her soul--" Hotaru's hand tightened on the frame, cracking it. "--they were all fucking obliterated upon impact! She's just _one_ more person I failed because I wasn't fucking strong enough!"

"What the hell would Shizuru say if she heard you talking like that?" Suzaku snapped in return, not even thinking. As soon as what he had said dawned on him, Suzaku _knew_ Hotaru was going to kill him.

Out of _all_ of the Hime _and_ the Otome, Shizuru had understood Hotaru the _most_ and she become more of a mother to the girl than Michiru had ever been. It had merely started out because Hotaru had been Natsuki's roommate at Fuuka Academy, which had been located near Central, but then Shizuru gradually became a permenant fixture and then a mother—both somethings Hotaru needed. Hotaru didn't go to class or participate in any activities without Shizuru being there to see her off and Shizuru would neglect the student council when Hotaru was hurt.

Shizuru had died to give Kallen enough time to get Hotaru out of enemy hands on an airship bound for Britannia. Natsuki had received Shizuru's Otome earring but she gave it to Hotaru. As far as Suzaku knew, it was still on that chain with all the others, right next to Natsuki's, in Hotaru's variable Knightmare frame, the _Oberon_.

The Oberon was one of the few that had survived the war, only because it had been moth balled when Bismark told Hotaru the command code for _his_ frame, the _Galahad_. She had piloted it in his honor since that day, using Excaliber to slay the entire deployed force that had taken him and so many others down.

But none of that information was going to save Suzaku from mentioning Shizuru.

Hotaru shoved herself away from the frame and tried to lunge at him to kill him but the brace caught and brought her down. Suzaku dropped his cup, tossed his book aside and caught Hotaru before she had a chance to hit the floor. He ended up on his knees again, keeping both her wrists in the hand of the arm wrapped around her shoulders. He kept her against him as he stroked her hair, feeling her shake as she broke down into tears again.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I slipped out before I could stop it." Suzaku apologized. "I am so, so sorry."

"…lullaby…"

"Hm?" Suzaku inquired interestedly, like you would with an upset child.

"…the lullaby…the one…."

She didn't need to finish. Suzaku knew which lullaby she meant. Only _one_ lullaby could get her to calm down, to stop crying. Everyone who worked closely to Hotaru, who knew her so well, knew _that_ lullaby. Suzaku didn't know who started singing it to her but he and Lelouch had overheard Mai Tokiha sing it for Hotaru less than 2 hours before Mai was shot and killed by a lucky devicer in a Sutherland while protecting a supply caravan for the refugee camps in Creta.

"You want me to sing it?" Hotaru nodded against his chest. "All right, I'll sing it for you but first…" Suzaku scooped her up and put her back into his bed, covering her up again. He sat against the headboard, on the edge of the bed and was reaching for the pillow when he felt Hotaru put her head on his thigh. He smiled softly and moved closer to her for the injured girl's comfort. "Now, let's see. How did it start again…?"

* * *

Uh, yeah...

Okay, for those who don't know--the name "Xenaeth Zadanya Adaran" is Hotaru's full god name and it belongs to Kazi-kun. She told me to put it in here as a threat to Charles. It means "Silent Everlasting/Soul That Never Was" (Xenaeth), "Inner Darkness" (Zadanya) and "Mortal Purity" (Adaran). It's all Arithian but ask Kazi-kun for complete 411 on THAT.

Um, so...yeah, a few more familiar faces are described to be dead. It's not pretty and it probably won't ever be.

**Schneizel:** So, a week or two before they come to Britannia?

Yeah, I think so...something along those lines....

**Suzaku:** Tol'ja she's just winging it.

Oi--you pick on me, I kill you off. It's that simple, Suzaku!

So, please read and review!

I like hearing from my readers and getting questions about things. It makes me feel like I'm not wasting my time.


	7. Realized Influence

Chapter 7 at long last!

I know, I planned to have it up before I went on vacation but stuff got piled up and I had to work through that....then it was job-searching, at least 3 different weddings and various activites I had little to NO say iif I wanted to go' do or not. It was the "You WILL go do this and you WILL enjoy it"...yeah, oh, rapture. (insert heavy sarcasm)

Anyhoo....

Reviews:

**Harpygirl91:** I'm glad you like it!

On with the show!

* * *

Ghost in the Shell: SAC-SSS/Full Metal Alchemist/Fushigi Yuugi

Mai-Hime/Code Geass/Sailor Moon/Shaman King

Naruto/Bleach/Karas/InuYasha

**"Casualties of the Post War Era"**

**-**

**Chapter 7:**

**"Realized Influence"**

**-**

"I can't stay here, Suzaku. I _have_ to go back to the apartment."

Suzaku gave her a put off look. "You're still _injured_, Hotaru. You're not going anywhere until your leg's healed."

"You don't get it!" Hotaru snapped, slamming her hand down on the kotatsu. It made her teacup jump but not tip and it got Suzaku's surprised attention in the kitchen. Hotaru took a deep breath to calm down. "You don't understand. I have to go back before Kirimei pawns my stuff. I've been here for two days already. I _have_ to go back."

"So, this 'Kirimei' is the one responible for beating the shit out of you every other day?" Suzaku asked, going back to the dishes he was washing. He looked at her over his right shoulder. He couldn't see through his eye patch but the effect was the same.

"God, Suzaku—will you just _drop_ it already?!" Hotaru half demaned, getting fed up. He kept trying to get her to tell him who was beating her. "Just take me back so I get my stuff and I can leave this goddamn country, dammit!"

"You're not staying in Japan?" Suzaku asked, looking at her with his good eye mildly alarmed. "Whatever happened to 'Land of My Ancestors'?"

"I…" Hotaru sighed, taking off her glasses. "I have to go to Britannia, to go to the hearings. I don't leave anything behind when I'm leaving the apartment for more than the afternoon. It's…it's _all_ I have left of _anyone_, Suzaku. I _have_ to go back to get it all."

Suzaku turned back to the sink to go back to doing the dishes. "I'll take you passed Knox in a couple hours. Maybe you've healed enough to where you can walk outside, if you don't mind me carrying you."

"One of has to be armed, Suzaku. You can't support me _and_ shoot people." Hotaru earned another look. "It's practicality."

"No, practicality would be me, leaving you here for your ninja underworld puppy to devicer-sit while _I_ went to go get your stuff." Suzaku remarked, putting the last dish in the drying rack and emptying the dishwater. He dried his hands on a towel before setting it on the counter. "However, I know that you won't give me the address of the apartment or the location of your traps so I've got no choice but to take you with me. Besides, Enmaru shouldn't be punished because you're feeling cagey, Firefly."

Hotaru flipped him off without hesitating. "Sod off, Bird Breath."

"Ladies first, Bug Brain." Suzaku shot back without missing a beat. Over the past two days, Suzaku had watched Hotaru build those strong walls around herself again, not even giving the notion that she had broken down the other day. He was hoping she wouldn't see the need of hiding from him after all this time but the _only_ person she let her guard down around nowadays, was Schniezel.

It was one of the reasons the 99th—no, _100__th_ Emperor had been truly worried for Hotaru's well being. He knew all of the burden that she carried because to her, only _he_ could be trusted. All Suzaku knew was that it invovled that infiltration job Schniezel and Hotaru did together when Charles named Oddysseus the 99th Emperor of Britannia…needless to say, Oddy-chan's reign hadn't lasted long.

"Speaking of the hearings," Suzaku began, "do you suppose Lelouch was right, that Oddysseus' Personality 180 was done by Geass?"

"Under the influence of Geass, Oddysseus?" Hotaru asked, getting a nod. "I _suppose_ but Lelouch never got close enough to him _or_ to Pendragon to even use _his_ so the only one that would be that close to Charlie-Boy's heir apparent would have been Charles himself. While plausable, keep in mind that Charles can only _modify_ memories, not give commands like Lelouch could do." The gears in the girl's head started turning, Suzaku could see it in her eyes. "However…it _is_ possible that Oddysseus went back to his _original_ personality. Schniezel has said that his elder brother had been _different_ as a young boy than as he been as a man."

"You think Charles made Oddysseus the Wolf in Sheep's Clothing?" The emerald-eyed cyclops inquired, walking out of the kitchen.

"I hate to say it but it makes sense." Hotaru muttered. "But that means when Jeremaiah…oh, God…Jeremaiah's Anti-Geass must have _restored_ whatever mods to Oddysseus' memory Charles had made _thus_…thus turning him back to normal with _full_ knowledge of…of how to handle the others." Hotaru clucked her tongue. "My God, that's so damn devious, ingenius and totally within the bastard's goddamned personality. That _fucking_ bastard—using his own son as the damned Trojan Horse. It's almost as bad as using Lelouch to draw out C.C. for her Code."

"What if Charles uses his Geass on the court?" Suzaku inquired, crouching by her. "We lost Jeremaiah in the war. He was the Britannia-Amestris ambassador while Viletta was the Britannia-Xing ambassador."

"That possibly has already been thought of and precautions made by Schniezel." Hotaru reassured, all the possibilities, probabilities and problems churning in her head. No doubt Schniezel would need her advice as soon as she stepped into the halls of Neo Pendragon. As the Blue Rose of Britannia, Hotaru had outsmarted the Charles many a time but he had never known because only Schniezel had known who had been beneath the blue half mask, out of his imperial family.

"Am I privy to such information?" Suzaku asked in a soft voice.

"Less anyone knows, the better. I was only privy to them because I was acting as Schniezel's guard at the time." Hotaru said, closing her eyes. "Trust me when I say that I wish I didn't know. You're honestly better off _not_ knowing what Schniezel and I do. If something happens, you have complete deniability. Someone who was there has to survive, Suzaku. It's best that it would be you than it would be me."

Suzaku's lone eye darkened and he was suddenly at Hotaru's side. He grabbed her bicep and jerked her high enough off the floor so she couldn't get the leverage she needed to fight back. He raised his hand and brought it down with all his strength.

_**SLAP**_

"I don't _care_ if you're injured or if you're depressed—you will fucking _stop_ talking like that!" Suzaku snapped darkly at her. Hotaru looked at him with slightly wide eyes. Her glasses had been thrown off to the side by the force but she didn't seem to notice. This wasn't like a thwack upside the head that she had received on occasion.

Suzaku was _never_ violent towards her.

"I am _just_ as guilty as you! We _both_ got _covered_ in blood in that war and I have been prepared to take whatever punishments that will come! Quit protecting me! I'm _not _a child, Hotaru! I am a _Knight of the Round_! I can fight my _own_ battles! Allow me to do my _own_ fighting and let _me_ deal with the consequences!"

Hotaru looked down and away, her cheek stinging. "…I'm sorry, Suzaku…but I can't do that…Lelouch…" She closed her eyes. "…he told me to protect you from yourself…"

"When have you _ever_ done what _Lelouch_ told you to do?" Suzaku half demanded.

"…he used his Geass…"

Suzaku released her arm, letting her drop to the floor and lean against his legs. She pushed herself off, her body hurting because of all the moving. He looked at her shocked.

"_Lelouch_ used Geass on _you_?" He earned a nod. "You and Nu…you and the twins were the _only_ ones he could _never_ bring himself to use Geass on."

"…He used it on Rolo…told him to sleep…so he could die peacefully…" Hotaru murmured, remembering how mangled Rolo had looked after they rescued him out of the _Vincent_'s wreckage. He had been blinded in one eye, lost _both_ his legs above the knee and one of his arms. He was covered in his blood and was struggling to stay alive, to deliver the classified information disk he had stolen from the Britannian base. "…and then he used it on Nunnally…told her to get out when we were captured…told her to run…she gave him a nod and put those braces to use…"

So, the only one that had been spared had been Hotaru. "When did he give it to you?"

"…after he got shot…protecting Akira and Takumi…who were protecting the refugees…the idiot was bleeding out all over my State uniform…and he told me to protect you from yourself…" Hotaru mumbled, not looking up at him. "…he always said that I was the only one you ever really listened to…"

Suzaku remembered that incident. Both of them had been on scene. Suzaku found the refugees all dead and only the _top half_ of Takumi and Akira, holding hands even in death. Hotaru had found Lelouch and had been in shock for quite some time afterwards.

"What _exactly_ is the Geass order?" Suzaku asked.

"…I don't know…I don't remember anything past 'someone has to protect Suzaku from himself'…Schniezel pointed it out…when I blacked out after it was suggested to bring you in on a strike…" Hotaru admitted with a mumble.

"Let me guess, he didn't tell you what was said to activate it." Suzaku earned a dark look. "I'm not saying anything against Schniezel. All I'm saying is that he probably kept it to himself."

"And if he is?" Hotaru asked a bit suspicious.

"Nothing. I'm just saying." Suzaku retorted, getting a bit defensive in return.

"He's not hiding it to use on me later, Suzaku." Hotaru half snapped. "He hasn't told me what it was because he doesn't want anyone else to know that Lelouch used Geass on me. Somehow, if he told either of us, someone on the outside would find out. He's keeping it to himself so it can't be used against anyone."

Suzaku didn't like how highly she thought of Schniezel. She held him in such a high regard that it was kind of hard to talk about it without her getting defensive—even _before_ the War. It was so close to blind faith that it dug harshly at Suzaku. It was like _Schniezel_ had used Geass on Hotaru and not Lelouch.

"Drink your tea." Suzaku instructed. "I'll take you to Knox on the way to your apartment."

"It's not my apartment." Hotaru corrected, closing her eyes.

"Whatever. Just drink your damn tea."

* * *

Damn, Suzaku--you got a deathwish or something?

**Suzaku:** (grumbles into tea) ...shuddup...

My, aren't we cranky today?

**Suzaku:** (flips Nuu-chan)

(jerks thumb at Suzaku) Tolja it'd put him in a mood.

Please read and review!


	8. Not Supposed to Have

Yes, yes--LONG overdue but writer's block's a bitch and I'm trying to work through it and work on the OTHER stories posted. I may just have to post some of my new stories just to keep you guys interested.

**Harpygirl91:** Why, thank you!

Okay, on with the show!

* * *

Ghost in the Shell: SAC-SSS/Full Metal Alchemist/Fushigi Yuugi

Mai-Hime/Code Geass/Sailor Moon/Shaman King

Naruto/Bleach/Karas/InuYasha

**"Casualties of the Post War Era"**

**-**

**Chapter 8:**

**"Not Supposed to Have"**

**-**

Heat rose up on Hotaru's cheeks as Knox looked at Suzaku giving her a piggy back ride, the younger male standing at the base of the short stoop. It was bad enough that there were people on the train who thought they had made a cute couple and Suzaku was helping his girlfriend get around because she was stubborn. It didn't help that the idiot agreed with some of them and refused to let Hotaru hold Enmaru's leash or even carry her own backpack.

Knox sighed and opened the door wider to let them in. Enmaru led the way, as he always did, and Suzaku easily walked up the stairs, like he didn't have an injured kunoichi on his back.

"I shoulda known you'd be back again, Kid. I jus' figured you'd give me a couple weeks first." Knox said, closing the door as Suzaku carried her to the kitchen, where Enmaru was leading him.

"Shut the hell up. I'm not in the mood to hear it, Knox." Hotaru muttered as Suzaku pulled a chair away from the table and eased Hotaru into it. She pushed her glasses higher up her nose, Knox coming into the kitchen.

Knox took note of her wrapped hands and the brace on her leg. He lightly kicked the toe of the brace. "That's too big. It won't heal right with that clunker on there."

"It was all I had." Suzaku replied, setting her backpack on the floor by Enmaru with the leash on top of the bag. "She picked a fight with a bunch of creeps and then with a cyborg ranger. I had to draw my gun just to keep him from making her feel worse about what happened."

"Cyborg ranger?" Knox asked surprised. He looked at Hotaru. "The one from the other night?"

"How many cyborg rangers are there in Niihama?" Hotaru muttered bitterly. She closed her eyes. "Hurry up, old man. I got to go back to get my stuff."

"You ain't thinkin' about attending those damned trials in _your_ condition, are you?" Knox half demanded, stopping mid stoop for his medical bag he had pushed under the table.

Hotaru didn't look at him, her eyes only open half way. "…I've got no choice…I have to go…I have duties to preform."

Knox sighed and rubbed the back of his neck as he picked up his medical bag and set it on the table, opening it and pulling on pair of latex gloves. "Then strip, girlie. You leave me no choice but to do a complete and full work over again."

Suzaku helped Hotaru stand and helped her out of his clothes, having her sit back down so he could take off the pants without her falling over. He half folded, half rolled the clothes up together and set them on top of the backpack. Knox took angled scissors out of his bag and started to cut the bandages on her arms and hands.

"Would you tell this old man how the hell you lost that eye of yours?" Knox asked, not letting himself get distracted from Hotaru's hand. He sharply tsked Hotaru with clear disapproval as he inspected the damage. "You lose it in the crash?"

"Uh, no, afterwards actually. My cockpit had been reenforced so I survived the crash. I had to manually open the hatch from the inside in order to get out. I managed to scramble a good distance away before the core luminous exploded and sent me into the air. I got so damn twisted around that I somehow ended up facing it and got a shard of the Yggdrasil Drive in my eye." Suzaku answered, leaning against the table. "I got picked up by the Britannians and treated before they imprisioned me after confirming my identity. It was like being arrested for getting into my own Frame again. I hate those damned restraint suits; they make it look like you're an assylum refugee."

"You survived the war because of that." Knox pointed out.

"Yeah, but I wish I had been able to go back out there and make those bastards pay for what they had done to all those innocent people. I was safe inside a cell, getting the shit beaten out of me for interigation, only to get treated and put back in my cell while my friends died fighting." Suzaku sighed, closing his visible eye. "It's something that still eats at me, really but I wasn't the only one to survive that way. I wasn't the only POW they caught and failed to be reported to the Emperor. A few of us were used as experiments for whatever Charles was cooking up behind Odysseus' back."

"You did good work." Knox muttered, taking an iodine-based ointment and the bandages from his bag. "This is gonna burn like a son of a bitch, just to warn ya."

"Just hurry up. I have to get back before Kirimei pawns my stuff." Hotaru shot back, not caring about looking like a half mummy girl in panties. She was in a bad mood and it showed, mostly in her lack of concern for her own pain and her modesty.

Suzaku was suspecting it was his prying that had put her in it.

"You gonna come back from Britannia, either of you?" Knox asked, smearing the ointment on Hotaru's arm. Her muscles jerked at the pain of the pressure mixed with the stinging ointment. Her expression, however, never changed. That was just proof of how much command over her body she had, only keeping her injured muscles still thus topping her painless expression. If someone on the outside saw this, they would have thought she wasn't feeling a thing but both Knox, Enmaru and Suzaku knew differently.

"I am. I've got an apartment over here." Suzaku answered.

"I've got no choice." Hotaru responded, getting a muttering growl from Enmaru. "I'm still a minor. I'm in the Child Welfare database. If I don't come back, I'll get extridaited despite being a State Alchemist. I'm Japanese so I come back to Japan."

Knox didn't comment as he finished smearing the ointment on Hotaru's arm and wrapped it up again. He moved onto her other arm, working thoroughly, quickly and systematically. He knew Hotaru's body well enough from patching her up that he didn't have to ask what she had gotten from this cyborg that had crossed the girl's path twice in as many days.

Suzaku and Enmaru watched Knox finish up Hotaru's other arm and then move onto her torso, cutting through those bandages and pads. He checked each of the stitches to make sure they held and then smeared ointment over each one. He took a pad of gauze pads from his bag and opened it, putting them at certain places before wrapping them into place, careful of her still cracked ribs. He moved onto her legs, saving her broken one for last.

"I've got something that I shouldn't have but it'll help heal this break, all right?" Knox said as he tended to her right leg. "An' I have a brace that'll work better than this clunker but you'll have to use a cane or a crutch until you can get more strength to heal it."

"Whatever. Just do it." Hotaru snapped in a soft voice. "I gotta make that damn jet in time."

"Jet?" Knox repeated. "You hate flyin'."

"Hurry up, old man."

Knox sighed as he snipped the bandages away and looked at the damage. He smeared the ointment on her angry flesh and then wrapped her leg up in the bandages. Unstrapping the brace earned a funny sound from Hotaru, something between a muffled whine of pain and a gasp from between closed lips and a locked jaw. He gingerly lifted her leg and slid the brace off, getting her to slap her hands over her mouth and squeeze her watering eyes shut.

"Holy shit in Xerxes—what the _hell_ did you hit for you to be tryin' not to scream from the pain?!" Knox demanded from the doubled over kunoichi. "A solid steel wall?"

"The cyborg ranger's _head_." Suzaku answered, getting a look from the old man. "Yeah, I saw the whole thing. I was passing by when she picked a fight with those goons but I had to stay and watch the show."

"Burn in Hell, Kururugi." Hotaru muttered, her voice barely audible but there was definitely a _bite_ to what she was saying.

"As long as it's not hotter than the Xerxes Desert. Training in _that_ heat was fucking ridiculous." Suzaku earned Hotaru's middle finger as Knox muttered "Be back in a sec." before getting up and going upstairs for something.

Suzaku waited until he heard things shifting around upstairs before he spoke again. "What's going on with you?" He asked in a soft voice. "You've been a pain in the ass before but now, you're acting like you've got _withdrawal_ in addition to PTSD and survivor's guilt. You can't _do_ narcotics, not even the narcs for cyberbrains. They shut you down or shut down certain portions of your body. What's going on, Hotaru? What are you addicted to that being so long without has you running back to Britanna, one of the _last_ places you've _ever_ wanted to go?"

And as soon as he had said it, Suzaku realized _what_ he was saying. There was only _one_ reason why Hotaru was going to Britannia and had _nothing_ to do with the _trials_ but _everything_ to do with _Schneizel_. And from the way Hotaru had looked away, Suzaku knew he had hit it on the head at that very moment, even if he hadn't said anything aloud.

Hotaru was _addicted_ to Schneizel…but _why_?

Before Suzaku could ask, Knox came back downstairs with a brace, a pair of crutch canes and small leather box. Suzaku would have to remember to ask Hotaru on the way to the apartment. He'd probably earn a few smacks from the canes but he wasn't going to just let this go. Of all the things Hotaru could have gone and gotten addicted to, it just _had_ to be _Schneizel_.

…well, it explained the blind faith…

Knox leaned the crutch canes out of the way and set the brace on his chair, setting the small leather box on the table. He sighed heavily as he went to a knee in front of the girl. He opened the box and Suzaku saw a few old fashioned syringes of a glowing red fluid. From the way Enmaru had let out a barely audible whine, it wasn't _that_ hard for Suzaku to figure out what it was.

"Purified red water infused with liquid sakuradite?" Suzaku watched as Knox picked up a syringe and attached an old fashioned needle to the end. "And you're going to put _that_ in her _blood stream_? She's _already_ been exposed! Are you _crazy_?"

"It'll add a pink edge to the burn but it's the only thing I got that'll help her heal. Without Urahara here, she can only get reishi from those around her an' she stopped eating people unless she's got no other choice." Knox gently cradled Hotaru's ankle in his other hand and lifted her leg off the ground, the needle hovering near where the break had to be. He looked up at Hotaru. "This is gonna hurt, Kid. Take a deep breath and swallow that scream you've got in the wings. This is _really_ going to piss off those nerves of yours."

Knox stuck the needle into Hotaru's leg, getting a pained grunt. As he pushed the plundger down, Knox heard Hotaru's gasp and then the telltale hitch in her breathing that said she was going to _scream_ next. Suzaku recognized it as well and was suddenly at Hotaru's side, his hands over her mouth as she let out the scream that had been building, all the liquid being pushed into her body. Knox pulled the needle out and quickly smeared the iodine ointment onto her wounds before wrapping it as quickly and as tightly as possible. He picked up the brace and fitted it around her leg and _firmly_ strapped it into place.

Suzaku lowered his hands as soon as hot tears touched his skin. He was utterly _shocked_ to see they weren't normal tears but straight _blood_. He looked at Hotaru's eyes and saw the faint gleam of red before she squeezed her eyes shut. She…she had _turned_ the pain into something else, making her…damn.

Her eye sight was going to be _crap_ for a while. That meant Suzaku would have to be on his toes more than normal.

A wet touch made Suzaku look down at his hands. Enmaru was licking Hotaru's blood off of them. From what Suzaku remembered, that was typical of the big dog. He always licked her blood up, as though he was trying to hide her scent by mixing it with his own. When he licked her wounds, it was to clean them, according to what Kari had said before the war had broken out, but Kari had never told Suzaku why Enmaru licked up Hotaru's blood on other people, never answered when Suzaku had asked.

"There, that should hold until you get to Britannia." Knox half grunted, getting to his feet. "You can get dressed now, Kid. Just don't push yourself too much with that leg. It'll have to be cut off if it heals wrong. And then you'd need either automail, the Britannian equivilant or find some way to make it grow back."

"Wait—what do you mean by that?" Suzaku half demanded as Enmaru started to lick the blood off Hotaru's cheeks. "She's always been able to regrow her limbs."

"The exposure made her recovery take a hit. Normally, these injuries would have been half healed by now, especially if she had gotten some sleep." Knox explained as he took off his gloves. "The problem is that we noticed that she had taken one hell of a hit after we found her hours later. Her exposure was weeping, like the others. We thought it was being purged at first but the burn didn't go away. That's when we realized the other wounds were healing almost civvie slow for her. It's good to keep her outside for as long as possible in areas with a lot of plant life. Her recovery rate goes a few points higher when she absorbs natural chakra."

"Good to know." Suzaku relaxed but he was going to ask Hotaru why she hadn't told him about that. She'd probably get pissed but it didn't matter. He was going to get the answers he wanted, even if he had to piss off all her spirits to get them.

"Get her back in those clothes." Knox told the young man. "The sooner she gets to Britannia, the sooner she can get better care. I can only do so much for the Kid here."

Suzaku picked up the clothes he had set aside and helped Hotaru back in them, Hotaru being surprisingly compliant and passive. He got her fully dressed again and put her glasses back on her face for her. As he tucked her hair behind her ear, she opened her eyes and looked up at him, her eyes amethyst once more. Even with her glasses, her eyes were still a little out of focus.

"Jus' make sure she gets on that jet to Britannia." Knox said, washing up in the sink. "When the jet lands, the escort will handle everything else."

"Escort?" Suzaku asked surprised, looking at Knox.

"As soon as she uses her ID to get on the jet, it'll alert the Motherland and the 100th Emperor will send someone to pick her up." Knox replied, turning off the water and drying his hands. He turned to face the young Knight of the Round as Suzaku picked up and shrugged on Hotaru's backpack again. "It's how it works for her. She doesn't have to bother with a ticket, just has to flash her ID. What about you?"

"Knights of the Round always get free transport to Britannia." Suzaku stated simply. "And Hotaru's practically a Knight of the Round herself."

"Funny, never thought a Knight of Honor was considered the same as a Knight of the Round." Knox remarked, closing up the case with the phials. Suzaku looked at Hotaru with a scolding "Knight of Honor, huh?" kind of look, getting her to look away. He had wondered what she had told people to keep them from questioning why she stuck close to Schniezel. "Well, never mind that. Get her back to that domestic hell an' keep her out of that bitch's way or I'll be seeing you again _real_ soon."

Oh, now Suzaku was _really_ going to piss Hotaru off by digging into this deeper. She would probably try to hurt him but he was safe until she healed completely. Then again, once she was healed, she could easily beat the crap out of him without hesitating, since he had hit her without provication first. He was definitely going to get at least a Charlie Horse for the smack upside the head. He wasn't sure _what_ he'd get for actually slapping her.

"Come on, Hotaru, on the crutches." Suzaku said, offering her the crutch canes. Hotaru slipped her hands through the braces and gripped the handles, Suzaku helping onto her feet with his hands on her waist. She wobbled at first but managed to balance herself out, his hands hovering close just in case. "You good to go, Firefly, or you want to stay put for a little while longer?"

"No…I'm good." Hotaru mumbled as Suzaku picked up Enmaru's leash again. "Thanks, Knox."

"Don't mention it, Kid. Come back if you get banged up. I'll patch ya up again before you head to Britannia." Knox told her, getting a nod and a soft smile, Hotaru's head down. "If you'd just start blocking again, you'd be better off."

Hotaru didn't answer him. She just started towards the front door, Enmaru following her and thus pulling Suzaku after him.

"Thanks for your help, Knox!" Suzaku called to the elder male.

"Just keep her in one goddamn piece!" Knox called after them as the door opened and the teenagers and dog disappeared through it. His door closed with a slight slam and Knox sighed heavily. "May God keep an eye on those kids. They've been too much as it is. Too much more and they'll be too broken to turn back."

* * *

Suzaku's gonna get it!

**Suzaku:** Shut up!

Hey, YOU'RE the one who can't just leave well enough alone.

**Schneizel:** I AM coming in soon, correct?

Yeah...maybe chapter after next, I think. Depends if the writer's block lets up.

**Hotaru:** Can I smash up Lancelot?

**Suzaku:** NO!

We'll see, Firefly, but worry not--you WILL be getting your revenge later on.

Plz read and review and I will do my best to get the next chap written and up.


	9. Visiting Domestic Hell

Computer issues and writer's block-dangerous combination in my case. My humblest apologies.

**Reviews:**

**Black Convoy:** I'm glad you like my story! No, alas-no Tachikoma ninja...but there may be a ninja IN a Tachikoma. And yes, the war destroyed her more innocent side because of how many people she lost and how many she blames herself for allowing to die.

On with the display of my utter insanity...

* * *

Ghost in the Shell: SAC-SSS/Full Metal Alchemist/Fushigi Yuugi

Mai-Hime/Code Geass/Sailor Moon/Shaman King

Naruto/Bleach/Karas/InuYasha

**"Casualties of the Post War Era"**

**Chapter 9:**

**"Visiting Domestic Hell"**

Suzaku didn't say anything while they were on the train or while they were surrounded by people still heading somewhere else, a party or a bar from the way they were dressed. He stayed beside her as Hotaru half hobbled, half swung herself along on the crutch canes. Enmaru strolled ahead enough so there was still slack to the leash but he didn't accidently crowd Hotaru. If she was going to be harmed by some outside party, Enmaru was best at intercepting it before it reached Hotaru.

The residental area they were in was practically deserted, something that mildly surprised Suzaku but he knew this wasn't the _best_ place to dawdle in. It was a dangerous place if you weren't careful. The few people milling about weren't the most savory of company but they looked over at Hotaru, Suzaku and Enmaru—no, at _Hotaru_ and they were utterly surprised to see her in such a condition. They called out Net jargen, asking if she was all right, only getting her to look up and then nod like she was half asleep.

Hotaru was apparently safe in this neighborhood, those people probably residents of the low income apartment buildings that reached up towards the sky around them. There were children on a few balconies calling out greetings Suzaku could barely understand and from where he was standing, Suzaku could see that some of them had healing injuries, their mothers or elder siblings bringing them in, in a similar condition. Even in a place like this, in the head space she seemed to usually be in, Hotaru was still giving people safety and hope.

At least _that_ sweet quality hadn't changed after all this time.

The elevator of the building Enmaru led them to was out of order, and had apparently been so for a while, since Enmaru led them to the stairs without even glancing at the busted lift. Hotaru had a little trouble on the stairs but she didn't stop or complain. She kept up the best she could, Suzaku and Enmaru waiting for her half way up a set of stairs and the landings.

Suzaku stopped at the base of some stairs that had big, burly guys with cases of beer sitting in the steps. They raked Suzaku with an unpleasant look, like they didn't think he belonged there, but a soft movement from Enmaru got their attention real quick and then they looked passed Suzaku to Hotaru. They got up without a word, picking up their things and moved up to the other landing, pressing themselves against the wall as Enmaru led Suzaku up the stairs and Hotaru slowly conquered them one stair at a time. When Hotaru reached the landing, they gave her respectful "Miss Hotaru" greetings and nods, though they apparently knew better than to offer her some help.

It turned out the next floor was hers and Suzaku followed her to the door third from the end, Enmaru falling back. Suzaku shrugged off one of the backpack's straps and faced the bag towards her. She unzipped the smaller pocket and took out a key ring with a few keys on it from one of the inside pockets. She chose a brass colored key and put it in the lock, turning it without too much effort. Suzaku opened the door for her and extracted her keys from the lock as she hobbled into the apartment's entryway.

Suzaku was surprised that the apartment was dark, as if there was no one living in it. As soon as he turned on the lights, Suzaku soon learned otherwise and wondered _how_ Hotaru could stand to live in such a cluttered mess. She managed to get her shoes off and Enmaru nipped them up as she managed to get deeper into the apartment. Suzaku took off his own shoes and closed the door behind him, picking his shoes up to follow the other two.

"Man, how can anyone live in this kind of mess?" Suzaku asked as Hotaru stopped at a closed bedroom door. "Garbage isn't overflowing but still…"

"Kirimei doesn't give me much of a chance to clean up when she's here." Hotaru mumbled, reaching for her keys. Suzaku gave them to her and she unlocked the door knob, the dead bolt and then pressed her finger to the door a hand's width over the dead bolt. She dragged her finger towards the frame and Suzaku heard the scrape of metal on metal before something clacked against the door. Hotaru opened the door and pushed it open, her room startling clean…and devoid of anything to make it home.

Suzaku unhooked Enmaru's leash and the big dog slipped into her bedroom first. Hotaru hobbled in and sat down on the edge of her bed, the sheets and blankets old and worn. Enmaru had to be her living space heater, since her bedding wouldn't be good enough to keep her warm at night.

"Everything goes in that trunk." Hotaru motioned to the trunk just out of the way. "It doesn't matter how it goes in. It'll all fit."

"I take it you want me to pack it for you?" Suzaku asked, setting her backpack on the bed next to her. "Are you sure you want me to do that?"

"The tubes under the bed, En's bed and bowls, my books, my panda and my clothes are in the trunk. The mod souls, their push bodies and anything else little goes in the backpack." Hotaru said softly, not looking at him. "I want to be gone before Kirimei returns or she'll stop us from leaving and you'll get hurt if we go out the window."

"Not a problem, Firefly. Just relax. I'll get everything together for you." Suzaku reassured as Enmaru finished what was left of the water in his water dish. He knelt on the floor and looked under the bed, seeing the tubes Hotaru had mentioned. He pulled them out one at a time and was surprised at the length of one of them. There were sharpie labels on them: 2 diamonds on their side bearing a "one" or an "eight" in kanji on the longest tube, an angular skull and a caligraphy zero on another, and a spiral on a couple others.

Suzaku opened the foot locker and somehow managed to get all the tubes inside, covering the bottom of the trunk. Enmaru put his bowls in his bed and then pulled his bed to Suzaku, who folded it in half and put it on top of the tubes and off to the side. Next was Hotaru's books and her clothes, then her big panda. They all fit, surprisingly, but Suzaku wasn't sure how it worked and he wasn't sure he _wanted_ to know how it worked. He closed and locked the trunk and then shrugged off Hotaru's backpack, opening it to pack it as well.

Inside the backpack was a pair of mortuary tablets strapped to the back on the left. Scrolls just a couple inches smaller than the backpack and a couple inches thick were strapped next to the tablets and a holstered gun with an ammunition pack was strapped off to the right. There was hard box on the bottom of backpack, strapped into place, and there was a sketch book and a couple school notebooks inside. The mod souls' plush bodies went inside without a problem, their little bottle going into a small outer pocket. Opening the drawers of the bedside cabinet, Suzaku packed holstered ninja weapons, a couple handfuls of small summoning scrolls and a few small notebooks.

As he opened the last drawer, Suzaku saw a small bag that bore the Britannian insignia for the 2nd-Prince-turned-100th-Emperor. He took it out and was surprised at the slight weight to it. He opened out of curiosity and saw the small summon scrolls, the two Britannian pistols and ammo packs as well as her Britannian IDs, her Frame Keys, the blue velvet and gold ring boxes, the blue velvet and gold box for something like a broach and the small electronic planner-slash-diary that kept all her private tidbits safely inside it. It was all of her Britannian gear, kept together until she needed it.

Suzaku put that in an easy-to-access spot in the backpack, since Hotaru'd be needing it to get on the plane destined for Britannia.

"There, you're all packed." Suzaku told Hotaru, only to get a small piece of paper held out to him by Hotaru. He accepted it, only seeing an empty circle with some sort of script around it. "What do you want me to do with this?"

"Put it on top of the foot locker." Hotaru said softly, making Suzaku realize what it was.

"Oh, a summon slip." He muttered, setting it on top of the trunk like he had been told. Hotaru used a few hand signs and with a pop and a small cloud of smoke, the paper floated to the floor with a kanji in the circle now. Suzaku picked it up and handed it to Hotaru who folded it up. "That's pretty handy. You must do that to anything too big to carry everywhere."

Hotaru didn't answer, rolling the folded piece of paper and tucking it into a little silver tube on her key ring. It was a tiny slip tube that was meant for only a couple summon slips and Hotaru had three or four on her key ring aside from the keys themselves. Suzaku knew only certain ninjas even had them, mostly the Anbu squads. They still looked shiny and undamaged, despite Suzaku knowing she had had them with her through the war.

"Now all we have to do is get back to my place so I can get my gear." Suzaku replied, rising to his feet. He tucked her hair behind her ear and this time she turned away from his touch. "What, you mad at me?"

"…thinking too hard…" She mumbled, still not looking at him.

"You know what they say about thinking." Suzaku tried to tease, putting the backpack back on, settling it on his back just right again. "It's bad for your health."

Enmaru's head suddenly jerked towards the open door and he put himself in the hallway, hackles up and growling darkly in warning. Suzaku looked at the hellish hound a bit lost as Hotaru got back onto her crutch canes a little _too_ hurriedly and half crashed into her current guest.

"Wow, easy, Hotaru." Suzaku coaxed as she hissed in pain. "There's not need to rush."

"Yes, there is." She corrected. "We have to leave right now."

"Fine, okay. We'll leave right now." Suzaku reassured, taking her keys from her. "Let me lock up for you. You and Enmaru head for the door. I'll be right behind you."

"Don't dawdle or I'll kick your ass and risk a punctured lung."

Suzaku followed her out of the room, holding the door opening the door wider for her. Hotaru half hobbled out into the hall and he closed the door, locking it back up. It seemed silly to lock an empty room but it was the only space Hotaru had security here in Japan, so Suzaku was going to humor her…even if he thought it was a bit unusual, even for vets like them. As Suzaku turned around, tucking the keys in his pocket, he heard Enmaru's growling darken and turn more viscious than it had been previously.

And he soon learned _why_.

Drunken laughter filtered in from outside, the fumbling of keys in the lock and the sudden white knuckle grip Hotaru had on her crutch canes all said they were about to have some unwanted company. The door opened and Suzaku saw a woman who could only be Kirimei and a man both drunkenly stagger into the apartment, cackling about something. Suzaku, however, had a feeling the man wasn't as drunk as he was potraying—_especially_ when he looked at Enmaru and then at Hotaru, his eyes clearly burning with a heat that Hotaru would _definitely_ kill him for, if she were looking at him but Hotaru wasn't; she was looking at the woman through her bangs, keeping her head down.

"Whaccha got goin' here?" The woman demanded drunkenly, motioning to Suzaku. "You _whorin'_ now, you good-fer-nothin' little bitch?"

"No, Kirimei, it would jeopardize my GEM." Hotaru said softly.

So, this woman really was Kirimei…

"Yer _GEM_? You think yer an Otome or somethin'?" Kirimei swayed on her feet with the overexaggerated gesturing.

"Otome Meister." Hotaru answered softly. "I won't risk my GEM, not when I'm still needed."

"_Needed_? Needed for _what_?" Kirimei drunkenly scoffed.

Suzaku stepped up to Hotaru's back and lightly put his hand on her shoulder. "We need to leave. Head for the door."

"The girl's gonna stay here, with us." The man reached for Hotaru but Enmaru lunged between them, his jaws snapping shut on empty air. Suzaku knew that Enmaru missed on purpose. It was merely a warning; not something to really take someone's hand off for until they tried it again.

Suzaku, however, wasn't going to give the guy another shot. He took his Britannian ID out of his back pocket and held it up. "I'm a Knight of the Round of the Holy Britannian Empire. Keep your hands _off_ my witness or be brought up on obstruction of justice and interference with international affairs. And then, of course, there's the matters of assault that still have to be resolved, _Kirimei_. We have extensive medical records of the damage she has sustained while in your care and be assured that this _will_ be brought to the attention of the proper officials."

"What's a _Britannian Knight_ doin' with a Japanese girl?" The man half demanded. "All ya said was that she's a witness. What do the _Britannians_ care about one Japanese bitch?"

"_That_ is classified." Suzaku said firmly. "And _do_ watch your language. There _are_ ladies present." He put his ID away again. "En, lead her out the door. I'll be along in a moment."

Enmaru growled darkly at the man and snapped at his legs, making him back up enough so Hotaru could pass without incident. Hotaru went to the door as Suzaku had instructed and Suzaku kept his eyes on the man, keeping Kirimei within visual range. Enmaru essentially covered them as Suzaku slipped passed Hotaru and opened the door for her. Hotaru hobbled onto the walkway and headed for the stairs, Suzaku keeping the door open for Enmaru to slip through.

Suzaku closed the door with a slight slam, slipped his shoes back on and hooked the leash to Enmaru's collar before catching up to Hotaru at the top of the stairs. She was already trying to descend them on her own, making the elder Japanese roll his eye. He slipped passed her again and stepped in front of her, getting a dark look of warning to get out of her way.

"You're going to fall if you try to go down the stairs. I'll carry you down so we don't have to go back to Knox so soon." Suzaku told her.

"…I can take of myself…" Hotaru grumped, not looking at him.

"Ye-_ah_, and you're not practically crippled after that run in with that ranger." Suzaku shrugged the backpack off and gave Hotaru his back.

She sighed heavily and got on Suzaku's back, the crutch canes crossing his chest. He shifted her weight onto one arm and took the canes away from her. He somehow easily made them collapse with one hand and stashed them in his coat's pockets, the backpack half hanging against his front from both straps over one shoulder.

Shifting her back onto both arms, Suzaku looked back at her as he headed down the stairs. "Why are you so reluctant to accept someone's help? It's not like I'm going to blackmail you for needing help, y'know."

"...shut up…" Hotaru mumbled, making Suzaku roll his one eye again. She was being moody and stubborn, all but a clam after that run in.

"I'm over 18, Hotaru. I could get custody of you and you could move in with me." Suzaku offered. "You'd escape that place for good."

Hotaru didn't answer. It kind of bothered Suzaku that she didn't even tell him to stay out of her business. What was going on in her head?

* * *

Yeah...Kirimei's definitely a piece of work and this guy...I don't think he'll be coming back...maybe.

I've locked everybody outside so I could get stuff posted. There's a bunch of pounding on the door and trying to shout in the windows and...

Shit-Bismarck! Suzaku's comin' at me with Lancelot!

Please read and review-I gotta grab MY knightmare to fight back.


	10. Train Ride to Nowhere

Shiiiiit, this is getting ridiculous on how long it's been. Computer issues, writer's block and stupid, drama-queen relatives are all to blame for all updates to be so late. I've worked on them as much as possible, here and there but then I've had to go back and redo that part, because the flow bothered me.

I've got a few fanfics on LiveJournal: **http:/ kazi-kun. livejournal. com/tag /fanfic**

And there's a reason why everything's posted on Kazi-kun's LJ, but certain entries are friend-locked, just as a warning.

Anyway, here's the latest installment of the proof of my insanity...

* * *

Ghost in the Shell: SAC-SSS/Full Metal Alchemist/Fushigi Yuugi

Mai-Hime/Code Geass/Sailor Moon/Shaman King

Naruto/Bleach/Karas/InuYasha

**"Casualties of the Post War Era"**

**Chapter 10:**

**"Train Ride to Nowhere"**

Hotaru stayed silent as Suzaku carried her to the train station. They had been the only ones at the platform and the sidewalks were deserted. It was late, Suzaku knew that, but this was a bit _too_ deserted for his taste—even the _train_ was practically empty. He instantly recognized something was up…especially since Hotaru let him carry her all the way to the train. He had half expected her to order him to put her down once he reached the bottom of the stairs but she hadn't, just letting him carry her as if he didn't have the crutch canes in his pockets.

"Hey, Hotaru?" Suzaku asked, getting a soft sound that he had gotten her attention. "Why did Knox say you were a Knight of Honor? Who's idea was it, Schniezel's?"

"….Carmine's…." Hotaru answered softly. "….she said it would be better that way….."

Suzaku looked at the girl he had sat next to him. "But why, when someone outside you two knew the truth?"

Hotaru was staring at the floor, not looking up. "Because only _you_ knew. Schniezel told everyone that I had become his preferred foreign guard, mostly because if what I was, was ever leaked, I could have been used against him. Carmine said that being his knight meant that I was more important but I wasn't as close as a Rose. Cassius helped move the word along, talking to Cornelia about Honorary Britannians. She had said it was a great honor for someone like me to jump the process and just become Schniezel's knight, like you had been Euphemia's, within Odysseus' earshot."

"That explains the impromtu Knighting ceremony a couple days before Schniezel secretly joined the war." Suzaku muttered, not seeing Hotaru look away from the spot she was looking at. "Why do you get an escort when you land?"

"Because I'm still the Imperial Princess of Hong-Nan, the only surviving Xingese Imperial." Hotaru answered simply, still staring at the floor.

Made sense. "Back on the topic of Britannia, why are you so damned determined to get back there?"

"….because Horokeu's living in Britannia now…he told me he was going to stay there, since his village was wiped out by Charles…" So, there were other reasons for her nearly-desparate return to the Homeland. Why had he just jumped to conclusions like that?

"Miss being able to talk to another shaman, huh?" Suzaku earned a soft, bittersweet smile. "You're going to try to apologize again for Pirika's death, aren't you?"

"I took his friends, his family and his _village_ away from him, Suzaku, all because I refused _both_ Charles and Odysseus by becoming Schniezel's knight. Attacking Horokeu was Charles' way of getting back at me." Hotaru admitted, mildly surprising Suzaku. "Charles took his anger at me out on the things one of my reasons for living cared deeply for, knowing that if he hurt him, he hurt _me_ because there was nothing else he could do to me that would hurt me more. If Charles had just attacked me out right, he wouldn't have done anything much in perspective but attack Horokeu and that which he cares for would wound me deeper than anything Charles could have done."

"You don't take personal attacks seriously, I know that, but to go _out_ of his way to pick a fight with the shamans…that's just _psychotic_."

"The Power of Kings takes a psychological toll on the user after a while. Neither Rolo or Lelouch ever had that problem, or rather, they didn't get a _chance_ to have that problem and Bismarck…Bismarck was so very careful on how he used his. The proof's with Marianne. She gained hers before she had children and she used it like Charles used his, thus affecting her long before she conceived Lelouch."

Suzaku looked at her again, seeing the soft depression on her face. He knew she had looked into Geass when Jeremiah, Lelouch, Rolo and Bismarck joined their cause. He knew she had studied the process that had given Jeremiah his Anti-Geass, making a connection to some other Geass power that C.C. and V.V. hadn't known about. C.C. had helped Hotaru as much as possible in understanding the different forms she knew of or had heard of but Hotaru had apparently gone _deeper_ with her findings…when did she have time to go into more detailed research during the war? Was it when she and Schniezel were off together in Britannia?

Suzaku felt a stab of jealousy at that thought. He had known Hotaru since they were little kids. Where did _Schniezel_ get off becoming so close to Hotaru?

"…what's waiting for you in Britannia?" Hotaru asked, looking at him from the corner of her eye.

"_Lancelot_, what else?" Suzaku tried to make a joke but it only got Hotaru to look back at the floor. "What, you didn't like the joke?"

"Joke?"

"I don't have anything in Britannia that's really waiting for me but I have a good friend having a pretty rough week and she needs all the support she can get, when she has to face down a senile old man and his closet pervert son." Suzaku got Hotaru to actually look at him with a bit of shock on her face. "I mean, you should see her. Despite all the crap she does to herself and all the abuse she takes, she's still the same girl I knew when I was little, just a tiny bit darker."

Hotaru smiled softly, closing her eyes and turning back to face the floor, her eyes opening part way. "You still think I'm so perfect, so complete…if you only knew the truth, you wouldn't think of me like that anymore."

"I doubt that." Suzaku retorted. "You're still the same, no matter what you think. You protected those people, those kids back at your apartment complex and you got the punks to be polite and respectful. You're still the same."

"…no, I'm not…." Hotaru murmured, not looking at Suzaku. She closed her eyes again and leaned back, despite the pain in her back.

Okay, time to change the subject. "Why Schneizel?"

Hotaru opened her eyes part way, staring at the ceiling. "…does it matter 'why Schneizel' or could you just let it go?"

"Yeah, it matters." Suzaku said, looking at her. "And no, I'm not going to let it go. You're acting like you're addicted to him, like he's your drug. What the hell happened between you two that you'd crave his company over anything else?"

Hotaru was silent for a moment, still staring at the ceiling. When she finally spoke, her voice was barely audible.

"…because he _is_ what he is to me…"

Now, _that_ made absolutely _no_ sense…and Suzaku doubted he'd get a straight answer out of her when she was like this. In the past, only Kallen could have deciphered what she was saying, what she really meant. Suzaku didn't really get it then—hell, he didn't get it _now_.

"Why can't you give me a straight answer for once?" Suzaku muttered with an annoyed scowl.

Hotaru only closed her eyes with a small smirk playing on her lips.

* * *

Heh, a confused canary...

**Suzaku:** Shuddup.

Wow, cranky bastard, ain't ya?

Well, read and review, plz. I'll do my best to do better.


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